Sunday, November 20, 2011

Bad Taste - Negative Experiences Hurt Churches More Than Once

There is nothing like a bad taste in your mouth. Usually when you eat something bad, you correct it by brushing your teeth, chewing gum, or eating something good. But what if one thing wasn't enough to correct the bad taste? What if you needed to brush your teeth 55 times to get that awful aftertaste out of your mouth?

At a recent work meeting I was told it takes at least 55 positive experiences to undo a single bad one. So, what if you had 2 or 3 negative ones? It makes it difficult to come out feeling positively about a place or a group of people. It's no wonder so many people have a hard time sticking with a church.

Some might think it's okay to continue going much as they have, doing things the way they've always done them. But that doesn't work. The world changes. People change. The requirements for attracting and keeping people change. So what do you do as a church to make sure that one flub up doesn't prevent people from coming back? You work extra hard. You incorporate their ideas. You incorporate them into your small groups. You keep saying hello even after the 3 month mark. And you make sure you don't flub in a hurtful or so negative a way again.

It's not easy. But it can work. I have to believe it.


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Saturday, November 19, 2011

Catty Church Musicians - Taking The Ego Out of Church Music

It has been some time since I posted to this blog. Partially this was because I didn't know what I would say. Partially because I hadn't found a church. Well, I have a church now and it has given me some fresh perspectives on the issues that face theologically progressive communities.

Most recently my inspiration came from singing a Sara Groves song. I'm part of the worship design team. We planned this song to emphasize the sermon and scripture that day. Well, my guitarist and I decided to get up early and soundcheck before everyone got there. Church starts at 10, so we thought 8 would be perfect. Choir doesn't practice until 8:30. The organist was practicing from 8 til 8:30 without stopping. He didn't ask why we were there, even though it was clear. He basically ignored us. Then, while we were waiting,  the bell choir started coming in.

Yes, they have a bell choir. No, I don't know what that's about.

My guitarist had laid his gigbag on the front pew and I had left my purse there. It should be noted there are 2 large pews, 1 on either side of the aisle.
The director of the bell choir looked at our things which took up barely half of the 1 pew and informed us this was where they usually put their bell cases. When we asked if they typically used the other pew, we were informed we could use part of that side. It should be noted, there is an entrance on either side and the center of the dais where the bells would be. Either side would be sufficiently useful, no one spot being better than another.

Once they started moving things, the choir members actually walked between my guitarist and I when our music stands etc were set up. We were standing less than an arm length from one another. Somehow they felt it was acceptable to behave this way.

Maybe this rudeness had to do with the fact these individuals and groups are established contributors to worship. Perhaps they think highly of themselves. Maybe they're so comfortable they're oblivious to the impact and nature of their actions.


Yet, I'm here to tell you it doesn't fricking matter.

When someone is preparing to share their gift, they should be given respect. If a person doesn't do this everyday, they should be given even more support because frequently this person is less comfortable and confidant than a veteran performer.

I have to say, I was really disappointed. I don't sing for myself in church. I mean, I love it, but I don't do it for me. I do it because I want the congregation to have another thing to think about - another way to nourish their spirits. It's very disheartening to feel so unsupported by the congregation you're trying to serve.

Now, I should be clear. I didn't feel the general congregation was unsupportive, or the pastor. Actually, many of those individuals were very sweet and appreciative. Mostly I felt a coldness from my fellow musicians. You might think this bizarre. Frankly, I do too.
I am writing this post to remind us all of one thing - we're here for the same reasons, or we should be. These are:

1. To praise God

2. To glorify God

3. To nourish our collective spirits

And maybe even..

4. To play some good music with friends

5. To have fun

Any other reasons, particularly involving the ego, are a cancer in a congregation and should be stamped out immediately. I'm not interested in the kind of drama that comes with egos. There is no time for that. So, if your church is in a similar spot, I'd recommend sitting down and having a chat. Post haste. You'll be glad you did.

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