Alexis Saving Faith

Bad Taste - Negative Experiences Hurt Churches More Than Once

2011-11-20T12:26:00.001-08:00

There is nothing like a bad taste in your mouth. Usually when you eat something bad, you correct it by brushing your teeth, chewing gum, or eating something good. But what if one thing wasn't enough to correct the bad taste? What if you needed to brush your teeth 55 times to get that awful aftertaste out of your mouth?

At a recent work meeting I was told it takes at least 55 positive experiences to undo a single bad one. So, what if you had 2 or 3 negative ones? It makes it difficult to come out feeling positively about a place or a group of people. It's no wonder so many people have a hard time sticking with a church.

Some might think it's okay to continue going much as they have, doing things the way they've always done them. But that doesn't work. The world changes. People change. The requirements for attracting and keeping people change. So what do you do as a church to make sure that one flub up doesn't prevent people from coming back? You work extra hard. You incorporate their ideas. You incorporate them into your small groups. You keep saying hello even after the 3 month mark. And you make sure you don't flub in a hurtful or so negative a way again.

It's not easy. But it can work. I have to believe it.

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Catty Church Musicians - Taking The Ego Out of Church Music

2011-11-19T08:18:00.001-08:00

It has been some time since I posted to this blog. Partially this was because I didn't know what I would say. Partially because I hadn't found a church. Well, I have a church now and it has given me some fresh perspectives on the issues that face theologically progressive communities.

Most recently my inspiration came from singing a Sara Groves song. I'm part of the worship design team. We planned this song to emphasize the sermon and scripture that day. Well, my guitarist and I decided to get up early and soundcheck before everyone got there. Church starts at 10, so we thought 8 would be perfect. Choir doesn't practice until 8:30. The organist was practicing from 8 til 8:30 without stopping. He didn't ask why we were there, even though it was clear. He basically ignored us. Then, while we were waiting, the bell choir started coming in.

Yes, they have a bell choir. No, I don't know what that's about.

My guitarist had laid his gigbag on the front pew and I had left my purse there. It should be noted there are 2 large pews, 1 on either side of the aisle.

The director of the bell choir looked at our things which took up barely half of the 1 pew and informed us this was where they usually put their bell cases. When we asked if they typically used the other pew, we were informed we could use part of that side. It should be noted, there is an entrance on either side and the center of the dais where the bells would be. Either side would be sufficiently useful, no one spot being better than another.

Once they started moving things, the choir members actually walked between my guitarist and I when our music stands etc were set up. We were standing less than an arm length from one another. Somehow they felt it was acceptable to behave this way.

Maybe this rudeness had to do with the fact these individuals and groups are established contributors to worship. Perhaps they think highly of themselves. Maybe they're so comfortable they're oblivious to the impact and nature of their actions.

Yet, I'm here to tell you it doesn't fricking matter.

When someone is preparing to share their gift, they should be given respect. If a person doesn't do this everyday, they should be given even more support because frequently this person is less comfortable and confidant than a veteran performer.

I have to say, I was really disappointed. I don't sing for myself in church. I mean, I love it, but I don't do it for me. I do it because I want the congregation to have another thing to think about - another way to nourish their spirits. It's very disheartening to feel so unsupported by the congregation you're trying to serve.

Now, I should be clear. I didn't feel the general congregation was unsupportive, or the pastor. Actually, many of those individuals were very sweet and appreciative. Mostly I felt a coldness from my fellow musicians. You might think this bizarre. Frankly, I do too.

I am writing this post to remind us all of one thing - we're here for the same reasons, or we should be. These are:

1. To praise God

2. To glorify God

3. To nourish our collective spirits

And maybe even..

4. To play some good music with friends

5. To have fun

Any other reasons, particularly involving the ego, are a cancer in a congregation and should be stamped out immediately. I'm not interested in the kind of drama that comes with egos. There is no time for that. So, if your church is in a similar spot, I'd recommend sitting down and having a chat. Post haste. You'll be glad you did.

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Sermon Fun!

2009-08-18T19:00:00.000-07:00

This has a few suggestions on what to do to amp up your worship service. There is nothing like a bad sermon to ruin the rest of worship (no pressure guys!). While sermons are not the only part of worship - music and prayer certainly have important roles - the direct connection between the congregation and scripture comes usually through the sermon time. It is for this reason, sermons need to be engaging and interesting to the congregation.

Church Search: Asbury United Methodist

2009-08-18T18:55:00.000-07:00

This is a critique of a church I visited recently. I have to say I was pleasantly surprised and we plan to go back. There was a distinct feeling that the church was willing to change and move and transition however it needed to, which definitely is NOT present in a lot of church communities. I'm crossing my fingers!

To see some of the ministries etc the church is doing visit: http://www.aplaceforallpeople.com/

What This is Not and What is Good

2009-07-13T08:01:00.000-07:00

Some people hate religion. I am not trying to convert them. I can't. It's a waste of everyone's time. I have my feelings on the subject of being outside of faith and/or faith community, but I cannot convince someone who hates religion that it is a good idea. I can only be myself, and if this has some impact on them, then wonderful. If not, it is their loss.

I am not apologetic. I both recognize the bad and the good of my faith and see myself as both separate (representing a new era) as well as growing out of a history of the Christian Church. I don't feel the need to go over things which have already been done and apologized for a thousand billion times.

Yes, some stuff sucked. If we go over that over and over again we'll all end up miserable and bitter. What a freaking stupid way to go through life! Those of you who enjoy focusing on all the bad things and magnifying them so it becomes impossible to see any good, you have my condolences and my pity. I can't be bothered. This is, of course, another type of narrow-mindedness (one which I would argue may be a special hell).

And for those who are skeptics, the problem we all know with skepticism, is you may also be wrong. This is a pointless and circuitous way of going through life (not to say you should never be skeptical, but to be so all the time and without allowing for another option is highly problematic).

So, here's the deal. I am not going to focus on past wrongs. I have already discussed them, it is done. I am now only interested in the positive direction of the future. This should occupy all our time and energy. Imagining a new and beautiful thing, what we in fact want, as opposed to the opposite.

I have found in my personal life that when I cut out those aspects, persons, feelings, and events which will bring me down and away from my goals amazing things happen. This is of course because all that remains are those good things. I think God wants what is good for us in life, as well as in the Church.

The Context of Scripture

2009-07-11T21:39:00.000-07:00

Music - Mixing it UP!!

2009-07-11T21:12:00.001-07:00

Eek! It's HOT!!

2009-07-11T20:52:00.000-07:00

My husband and I have taken to watching "Reaper." The show is about a guy (Sam) whose parents sold his soul to the devil. The devil then has him be a bounty hunter, i.e. catch escaped souls and send them back to hell. When the devil gives the man his cell number, Sam says "What area code is this?" The devil replies, "Phoenix."

There is a reason. I've been on hiatus basically because it got so hot so quickly. This is the only explanation, that and a combination of work responsibilities as well as a general discouragement.

I've been feeling a little down about the church thing. I think perhaps this is a good thing to do a video about specifically. I'll get back to you with that...

Guns, God, and the American Way

2009-06-29T22:38:00.000-07:00

This is because of the US Pastor in Louisville that decided to have an "Open Carry" rally for a service. Seriously guys? Is nothing sacred?

Music - Content!

2009-06-29T22:20:00.000-07:00

This is all about the lyrics. To paraphrase the movie Music and Lyrics, the music draws you in but the lyrics are like getting to know someone...

Aside: Legislating Religion, Culture and Pluralism

2009-06-23T21:05:00.000-07:00

After reading some of the comments on my YouTube station, I felt like I needed to respond to the elephants in the room (actually, it may have been a herd on the verge of stampeding). It is dangerous to allow fear and bigotry into legislation. It has lasting implications and frequently aftershocks continue and reverberate in ways that are unexpected and unpredictable. It is also dangerous to put up walls where we should be extending hands in friendship and seeking avenues of common ground.

Beyond all this, don't you EVER legislate my God. Separation of church and state is about freedom from someone else's god as much as it is about freedom to worship your own.

Aside: Stupid Sarkozy

2009-06-22T20:12:00.000-07:00

Now, I know people all have different ideas about burkas, BUT there are some other considerations that people need to think about before legislating against them.

Music - Genre!

2009-06-22T19:51:00.000-07:00

This is the first of 3 entries relating to music and the New Church. The following 2 will relate to content (lyrics) and playing with musical style in worship respectively. I feel the latter is really the direction of the New Church as it is in line with the generation coming into leadership positions - there is a desire for a mix of styles and a playfulness in worship which hasn't been present in the mainline Protestant church. Well, at least, I'm crossing my fingers...

Technology for the New Church and a Church Search Review

2009-06-21T20:35:00.000-07:00

We went to Peoria Church of the Nazarene and this is a little review of what we experienced...which was a GREAT lead into one of the points necessary for the New Church - technological connectivity.

Big Stuck #9 - Evangelism

2009-06-16T21:11:00.000-07:00

The "E" word... *gasp*

The Church Challenge

2009-06-12T18:09:00.000-07:00

So, here's the deal. I am seriously missing faith-based interaction. It gets lonely not having a Church family to hang out with and grow with. I am looking for a church in Northern Phoenix, Arizona. I am obviously progressive (and by all accounts "emerging").

This is what I am looking for:

A contemporary worship style - this does not mean only empty praise songs, but also old stand-bys juiced up in a variety of styles, as well as secular songs that speak to the message for that service.
Variety in service (not always modifying a single template, i.e. insert sermon here, song here and viola!, but having genuinely different worship services from one time to the next).
A group of people who are open and willing to question and to struggle despite diversity and because of it - this means that they are actually willing to have everyone from the Church Lady (despite her not having us) to the ex meth-addict metal vocalist.
Public action - I know it's hard to make time for this, especially when you're young and a lot of people are struggling, BUT a little protest does a body good. So does some recycling or volunteering.
Fun - I like to play. I like beer and wine. I like to go clubbing. I like to play games and ride on the back of my husband's Ninja 650R. It would be good to be a part of a church where it's okay to do all those things, in fact, let's do them TOGETHER.

I think you get the gist. I know it will be difficult to find exactly this, but that doesn't mean I can't shoot for the moon and end up among the stars! This will be an on-going search.

I will tell you now, if I can't find one, I will make one. I know things start small, and I'm totally open to meeting in a pub if necessary. Why not talk about God over billiards? Seems as reasonable as anything else.

The point is, if you know of a community like this, in Phoenix or in your neck of the woods, give a little shout out... because we're in this together (especially let me know if there is someone in North Phoenix because I would rather pool passion than strike out on my own).

Big Stuck #8 - War

2009-06-12T18:06:00.000-07:00

What is it good for? Absolutely nothing! The truth is, Jesus was not pro-war and anyone who says he was, is delusional.

Big Stuck #7 - Sunday Christianity

2009-06-10T18:39:00.000-07:00

There are 2 sides to this dinar - those who only are Christian on Sundays and those who say you can only be Christian if you go to Church on Sundays... *sigh*

Tolerance, plurality, or co-existance? - an Aside

2009-06-04T21:13:00.000-07:00

I saw this video on pomomusings. It caused me to remember many of the lessons I learned while I was in India which I think are relevant to our discussions here. Particularly, I think of how we all seek something more than "this" and how difficult it is for so many of us to find "it". Beyond that, when we do, frequently we tend to be hurtful to those who have a different way of accessing the divine. This is a problem in our globalizing world where so many cultures and religions are interacting at an increasing rate.... the question becomes, how do we deal with this?

Now I would not say that I am tolerant of others views. In fact I am actually quite hard and fast about where I come down. This doesn't mean I won't give you air time. If I were merely tolerant I might simply condescend to allow you to believe whatever it is and smirk behind your back saying my way was the high way. By being forthright and admitting inconsistencies and conflicts, it's much easier to respect the other.

This should not only be practiced in India in political elections, or even on an interfaith level, but rather needs to be practiced on an intrafaith level. That is, different denominations of Christianity need to come into conversation with one another and really talk. May the most pragmatic begin!!

Indian Elections : A Mammoth Democratic Exercise from Shashwat Gupta on Vimeo.

Big Stuck #6 - Abortion

2009-06-04T20:38:00.000-07:00

It's a sticking point not only for the Church, but also American society. In fact it has become more important in elections than other topics such as Social Security and health-care... something strange about that one...

Big Stuck #5 - Who's got the Bible?

2009-06-03T20:28:00.001-07:00

Right interpretation is a major sticking point!

Big Stuck #4 - Money

2009-06-03T20:02:00.000-07:00

Hiatus!

2009-06-03T20:00:00.000-07:00

Sorry for hiding for the past few weeks. I've had some health issues (multiple kinds and all at once, I highly recommend!) and some guests and the combination is nearly deadly for a blog. In any case, I'm back and hopefully we can get into a groove and interact some.

Let's Talk About Sex!

2009-05-19T08:09:00.001-07:00

Big Stuck #3 - Sex and the Church

Big Stuck #2 - Homosexuality

2009-05-18T14:33:00.000-07:00

Everyone's least favorite subject, and therefore all the more pressing!!!

Big Stuck #1 - Divorce

2009-05-18T14:32:00.001-07:00

Sorry it took a while to get this up and running. We had some guests over the weekend (yay!) and I got an ear-infection. Needless to say, here it is:

The Big Stucks (or Sticks)

2009-05-13T22:26:00.000-07:00

For the next few vids I'm going to go over some troublesome areas for the Church. Some of them I don't know how I feel about, others I come down pretty strongly and clearly. Here's my early draft of a list in no particular order:

Divorce
Homosexuality
Sex (before marriage, during, extramarital etc)
Money (seriously)
Who's got the Bible (right interpretation that is)?
Abortion
Sunday Christianity (rather than everyday)
War
Evangelism (We can write it, we just can't DO it...)

Hopefully we can get some good discussion going on these and we might be able to at least agree to disagree, which is more than can be said for the Church. I'll hold my breath and pull a quantum physics moment (if I expect it, it will happen, right?).

The Church Fault

2009-05-13T22:21:00.000-07:00

What's really wrong with the Church? I'll tell ya...

The Alpha Story

2009-05-13T22:20:00.000-07:00

Alpha - The Beginning

2009-05-11T18:12:00.000-07:00

This is a concerted effort to address the religious and non-religious of all types regarding the current state of faith and God. As a person of faith myself and an active scholar of religion, I can't sit idly by while I watch liberals, conservatives and everyone in between make a mockery of God and of the principles set out not only in Christian scripture but throughout various religious scriptures across time and space. I do not expect everyone to agree, and I do expect to offend quite a few with my beliefs and the ideas put forward here.

If you are offended, please don't comment in such a way as to name-call, point fingers or scapegoat. This is pointless, and frankly stupid. There will be no "nazi" calling here. Rather please comment intelligently and thoroughly and be open to other possibilities. If you aren't open we as the Church can't grow and move forward in our faith. If we don't grow and progress then we damn ourselves.

...So in the spirit of open dialogue and a provocative journey, let us begin.