I've been neglectful of this blog because, quite frankly, I've had very little to say on faith at this time. I feel like I've been beating a dead horse, and well, what's the point?
My personal life has taken more intense directions recently and continues to be difficult, which is probably why I'm writing what I'm writing.
When I was 19 years old I went on a unique mission trip experience. American Baptist International Ministries had a program (still have, amazingly) called Xtreme Team that was for 19 through 29 year olds to experience mission. Team members went to a random country for a month and a half, and saw the different aspects of mission. In particular, members would wake up and not know where they'd be sleeping that night, what they would eat, or where they were going. It was a kind of let-tomorrow-take-care-of-itself/lilies-of-the-field thing.
Through this experience, I changed. I learned that I didn't need to have everything right then. I didn't need to know what would happen right then. I just needed to trust.
The problem is when you reach a point of Job like proportions, it's hard to trust that God will take care of you. It's hard to know that everything will work out.
Last night I had a long conversation with my brother about some of the things going on in each of our lives. At the end, I told him, "No matter how things go, everything will be okay. You'll be alright." I couldn't help but feel the irony of me telling him the very thing I need to feel deep in my bones.
I know, and my brother probably knows, that everything will be alright. While he didn't go to Central America and wonder what Xtreme thing he'd do like I did in 2002, he has lived enough to know. We adults all have. But knowing and feeling are two different things.
Showing posts with label trust. Show all posts
Showing posts with label trust. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Why Worry?
Worrying brings no benefit.
This past Sunday our friend and youth pastor had some points in his sermon about worrying that struck close to home. He even mentioned some things that he does that I started to do last week...or was it the week before? I can't keep track. My days and nights have blurred (newborns will do that to you).
The classic scripture of "Tomorrow will take care of itself..." and God takes care of lilies, so of course he'll take care of you - in other words, "Don't worry. Be happy."
That's easier said than done, especially for those of us who are worrywarts (note: I'm holding 2 hands high in the air here...waving, and jumping up and down shouting "Me! Me!"). But here's the thing - worrying is a mark, and it's not the kind you want to have.
Worrying shows that you don't trust - that you have less faith. I know what I'm talking about. The things I worry about are the things I'm not sure will get done. Granted, what happens if those things don't get done? Usually we're just talking about a messy counter top or my baby having a redder bottom than I'd like. BUT there are other things that I see as potential catastrophes in my head (like what will happen when we leave the Bay area and move in with my parents, or Christian can't get a job right away.). The first category I can separate myself from a little - those small things are annoying if they don't get done but the world doesn't end with a messy counter. I can consciously choose to let go of those worries. The second one is a bit harder.
Even though I know I do all I can about those major concerns, and I reach the limit of what I can control, I still worry about them sometimes. I have less faith they will be resolved. I trust less that something will correct them.
The funny thing is, I also know, intellectually, something will correct them. I think the real worry is that I'll have to deal with an even worse situation before everything is righted.
Yes, worrying is fruitless. The things we can change we do (so no worries) and the things we can't, well there's no point. Instead, we need to take a step back and quiet our minds. Pray. That is something we can do no matter how much control we have over a given situation.
Yes. I should definitely pray more. It does a soul good. It may even calm the mind. We can even look at it as though we're giving our worries over to the Divine, then maybe we can trust a bit more and let our faith flourish.
I'd like that a whole lot better than worrying.
This past Sunday our friend and youth pastor had some points in his sermon about worrying that struck close to home. He even mentioned some things that he does that I started to do last week...or was it the week before? I can't keep track. My days and nights have blurred (newborns will do that to you).
The classic scripture of "Tomorrow will take care of itself..." and God takes care of lilies, so of course he'll take care of you - in other words, "Don't worry. Be happy."
That's easier said than done, especially for those of us who are worrywarts (note: I'm holding 2 hands high in the air here...waving, and jumping up and down shouting "Me! Me!"). But here's the thing - worrying is a mark, and it's not the kind you want to have.
Worrying shows that you don't trust - that you have less faith. I know what I'm talking about. The things I worry about are the things I'm not sure will get done. Granted, what happens if those things don't get done? Usually we're just talking about a messy counter top or my baby having a redder bottom than I'd like. BUT there are other things that I see as potential catastrophes in my head (like what will happen when we leave the Bay area and move in with my parents, or Christian can't get a job right away.). The first category I can separate myself from a little - those small things are annoying if they don't get done but the world doesn't end with a messy counter. I can consciously choose to let go of those worries. The second one is a bit harder.
Even though I know I do all I can about those major concerns, and I reach the limit of what I can control, I still worry about them sometimes. I have less faith they will be resolved. I trust less that something will correct them.
The funny thing is, I also know, intellectually, something will correct them. I think the real worry is that I'll have to deal with an even worse situation before everything is righted.
Yes, worrying is fruitless. The things we can change we do (so no worries) and the things we can't, well there's no point. Instead, we need to take a step back and quiet our minds. Pray. That is something we can do no matter how much control we have over a given situation.
Yes. I should definitely pray more. It does a soul good. It may even calm the mind. We can even look at it as though we're giving our worries over to the Divine, then maybe we can trust a bit more and let our faith flourish.
I'd like that a whole lot better than worrying.
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