Hold On (Easter poem)

Hold on.

Today is for grief. Today is for memories. Today is for anger...but...

Hold on.

You may have to watch things burn, crack, and peel. You may have to dig through rot and gross. You may have to scale tremendous heights... so...

Hold on.

It is true you are small. It is true there is so much - too much to do to make right. It is true it hurts waiting...but...

Hold on.

A lily blooms. A shell cracks. A stone moves.

Hold on.

The dawn breaks. The light comes. You are free, graced with mercy, compassion, and joy...

All for three days patience.

To End The Drought

Sitting down in front of the keys, a thousand thoughts go through my head. I think of ISIS, of little girls with books, of insane people conflating Christianity with "God on America's Side," of chocolate bunnies, of frightening droughts, of lying billionaires moving suited pawns across legislatures...

I think of my bank account, of my aching foot, of the fact that my computer is on its last leg, of the fact that capitalism doesn't work well for people with my kind of motivation and values...

I think of all the flaws and the fears of the world in the span of a moment. They flash before my mind's eye. It is a dizzying, horrifying, freak show, and I really don't recommend it. It's vomit inducing.

I could write about any single one of these things, and while they each could be twisted into a faith post, the reality is together, they mean so much more.

The world is scary. It is dark. It is full of awful, terrible, no good things. People use the same ideology and evidence to support their views, often with selfish aims, and with complete disregard for the consequences if they win their arguments.

In this season of Lent, I have to remind myself, and you, that it is darkest just before the dawn. All of these things are true...are present...and they must be addressed. You must decide what to do with the chocolate bunny, and how to re-landscape your lawn because grass is not going to work any more. These are bitter pills for the average Californian (and the rest of the US). You must decide how to address your faith - and work, or not, with others across the world to bring about Shalom - that yearned state of the Divine.

And for us Christians, yes, these things weigh on us, and it is hard and scary and we want to hide our faces under our pillows and stay in our cozy beds. But Jesus still died a horrible death...and returned.

As my father likes to quote, in his best imitation of a whooping preacher...

"It's Good Friday...BUT EASTER'S COMIN'!"

One more time...

"It's Good Friday...BUT EASTER IS COMIN'!"

We are not alone. In the midst of the faithful, is a large bubbling, untapped wellspring of love and light. It is time to end the drought.

Rush forth my brothers and sisters - come forward - your time in now.

Giving In: The Lenten Journey

Wednesday marked the beginning of Lent. Lent - the season of atonement, of contemplation, of introspection. Lent - the season of Fish Fridays, boring crackers, and Stations of the Cross.

Lent - the lead up to the holiest of days in the Christian calendar, Easter.

I don't usually follow the tradition of giving up something for the season. I always felt it to be strange to give up chocolate for six weeks, for example, only to binge on Easter Sunday. I always felt if I were to give up something, I would give it up permanently, to go all in, as it were.

This year, however, I do want to make a promise to myself, or to God. I have a few ideas, and even though Lent has begun, I still haven't committed to one. Perhaps this is because I feel like I am doing all I can as a person - in my relationships, and vocation. I feel like I can't do much more than I am already doing. If I did choose to do one more thing, I feel like something else would suffer. I have a limited amount of attention I can give to any one thing. I have a limited amount of patience, which has worn thin with lack of sleep, reading an abundance of depressing news articles, and suffering through other people's problems. I have a limited amount of discipline, which thus far is spent on maintaining my commitment to my writing (and blogging), as well as step counts, and maintaining a certain level of calorie consumption.

Perhaps instead of giving something up, like chocolate or alcohol, it would make more sense to give in... Give in to the fact that I am only human, and accept myself for my limitations, weaknesses, strengths and everything in between. Give in to the fact that Creation works in concert perfectly and always seeks balance. Give in to Divine inspiration and allow myself to be a vessel for words and deeds of compassion and peace, justice and wisdom.

Give in to the greater picture, where I do not exist, except as a cell with a specific purpose in the larger body.

If I can do that, maybe I will find some grounding that can anchor me in mindfulness and inner peace, despite everything else. Perhaps that is my Lenten journey.

Probably would have been easier to give up chocolate.