Surprise Lessons

Sometimes, even when we think we know what the plan is, we're surprised when things turn out differently.

I thought my calling for the church here was one thing, when it turns out it was something much different. I know this now because my time there has come to an end; my family is cutting our losses and moving back to the Central Coast.

I'm not sure how my time there will have helped anyone, but I know it has. I also know it helped me. It showed me there are churches out there that I can really become a part of and give to that don't have a family member as the pastor. In fact, it showed me the pastor (though important) isn't as important as the whole community.

The community at this church was so loving and wonderful that even with only having attended a short time, we really felt like we belonged. We were committed to that church. It had been a long time since I felt that in a church. Maybe it had to do with the type of people there, or my own place in life (pregnant when we began attending) though I can't really be sure. All I know is that I felt hope again, for my own spiritual journey as well as Church as a whole.

We can't know what the plan is. We might have an idea, and that idea may be completely wrong. I thought we were going to stay at this church for a long time and that I would help shape the direction of its ministry, but instead it was a moment in time. It was just a stop on my spiritual journey with a large sign post showing me what could and will be.

The journey really is full of surprises.

Why Worry?

Worrying brings no benefit.

This past Sunday our friend and youth pastor had some points in his sermon about worrying that struck close to home. He even mentioned some things that he does that I started to do last week...or was it the week before? I can't keep track. My days and nights have blurred (newborns will do that to you).

The classic scripture of "Tomorrow will take care of itself..." and God takes care of lilies, so of course he'll take care of you - in other words, "Don't worry. Be happy."

That's easier said than done, especially for those of us who are worrywarts (note: I'm holding 2 hands high in the air here...waving, and jumping up and down shouting "Me! Me!"). But here's the thing - worrying is a mark, and it's not the kind you want to have.

Worrying shows that you don't trust - that you have less faith. I know what I'm talking about. The things I worry about are the things I'm not sure will get done. Granted, what happens if those things don't get done? Usually we're just talking about a messy counter top or my baby having a redder bottom than I'd like. BUT there are other things that I see as potential catastrophes in my head (like what will happen when we leave the Bay area and move in with my parents, or Christian can't get a job right away.). The first category I can separate myself from a little - those small things are annoying if they don't get done but the world doesn't end with a messy counter. I can consciously choose to let go of those worries. The second one is a bit harder.

Even though I know I do all I can about those major concerns, and I reach the limit of what I can control, I still worry about them sometimes. I have less faith they will be resolved. I trust less that something will correct them.

The funny thing is, I also know, intellectually, something will correct them. I think the real worry is that I'll have to deal with an even worse situation before everything is righted.

Yes, worrying is fruitless. The things we can change we do (so no worries) and the things we can't, well there's no point. Instead, we need to take a step back and quiet our minds. Pray. That is something we can do no matter how much control we have over a given situation.

Yes. I should definitely pray more. It does a soul good. It may even calm the mind. We can even look at it as though we're giving our worries over to the Divine, then maybe we can trust a bit more and let our faith flourish.

I'd like that a whole lot better than worrying.

Human Action is God Action

There comes a time when everyone has to make a choice. You can sit on your butt and do nothing, or you can act.

Some people say that humans don't need to act - that trusting God is enough. I'm thinking of Christian Scientists or other groups (several Pentecostal churches come to mind). Certainly there are many groups like this. However, they are missing something major when they do not act:

God works through people.

People are vessels for God's miracles. People are routes for God's will on Earth. We can experience God's mercy, grace, compassion, and unconditional love through the acts of others.

If we think about life this way, it becomes clear that bumper sticker so popular a few years ago ("practice random acts of kindness") was wrong. Acts are not random, especially ones of kindness and grace. They are the purposeful and necessary work of God. There's nothing random about it, though it may appear so to us.

It would seem that we should listen to the stirrings of our heart when it yearns to act for the good of others. These are the movements, the yearnings, of the Spirit. Inaction, waiting for something to happen, does nothing to fulfill God's will. In fact, it prevents it. So when we feel the urge to act, as instruments of God it is essential that we do. We cannot afford to stand still.

Childbirth is Sacred

If you follow my other blogs or my profile on other social media then you know I had my baby. As such my life is a little different these days.

If you want to read about my birth story, you can do that at Raising An Alien. However, one thing I didn't mention there that makes sense to say here is the self-talk I did while in labor.

As I was going through my pressure waves (contractions) in early labor, I made a noise similar to "Om" or "ah" though my mouth was closed. The sound helped me focus, and it reminded me of chanting. It was a natural thing for me to do - I just slipped into this sound. But the result was interesting. As I made this sound and looked around the dim room or noticed the candle next to the large soaking tub, I recognized how incredibly sacred childbirth is.

I was ritualistically bringing life into the world.

I kept saying that to myself in my head - reminding myself of these facts.

Childbirth isn't something that should routinely happen under bright lights surrounded by machines. It is a holy thing - a special thing. It is a kind of worship. Yes, it is messy and can be loud. Yes only women can do it actively...but partners are as much a part of the process. It is one of the ways humans can be closest to the Divine through creation.

Now more than ever, I am in awe of other women - of all women who have given birth. It is such a holy and unique thing. It is a divine and giving act that everyone is not able to do.

Mothers are truly blessed by God.