I've been neglectful of this blog because, quite frankly, I've had very little to say on faith at this time. I feel like I've been beating a dead horse, and well, what's the point?
My personal life has taken more intense directions recently and continues to be difficult, which is probably why I'm writing what I'm writing.
When I was 19 years old I went on a unique mission trip experience. American Baptist International Ministries had a program (still have, amazingly) called Xtreme Team that was for 19 through 29 year olds to experience mission. Team members went to a random country for a month and a half, and saw the different aspects of mission. In particular, members would wake up and not know where they'd be sleeping that night, what they would eat, or where they were going. It was a kind of let-tomorrow-take-care-of-itself/lilies-of-the-field thing.
Through this experience, I changed. I learned that I didn't need to have everything right then. I didn't need to know what would happen right then. I just needed to trust.
The problem is when you reach a point of Job like proportions, it's hard to trust that God will take care of you. It's hard to know that everything will work out.
Last night I had a long conversation with my brother about some of the things going on in each of our lives. At the end, I told him, "No matter how things go, everything will be okay. You'll be alright." I couldn't help but feel the irony of me telling him the very thing I need to feel deep in my bones.
I know, and my brother probably knows, that everything will be alright. While he didn't go to Central America and wonder what Xtreme thing he'd do like I did in 2002, he has lived enough to know. We adults all have. But knowing and feeling are two different things.
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Saturday, October 26, 2013
Modern Samaritans
This past week I moved. As part of the move I had the chance to spend several hours in the car with my infant son and my mother-in-law. This might sound like a horrible thing to some people (and indeed for some it might in fact be a horrible thing) but my baby is a darling and I genuinely like my mother-in-law.
So we got to talk...for about 5 hours. We talked about many things but most importantly I was able to ask her about her brother. This is something I've wanted to ask for a long time. My mother-in-law's brother was killed in a plane crash along with her father many years before. While they come up in conversation on occasion, it was rare for any details to be shared. My husband, however, always brings up the subject for his grandmother because he looks so much like his long dead uncle.
It turns out that's not the only resemblance.
As we talked, I learned Christian's uncle had many similar personality traits, including something that has caused some inconvenience for me on more than one occasion. Like his uncle, Christian is generous and helpful. He inherited the need to help people. Every time we come upon a stranded motorist, Christian wants to stop and help them. If there is someone clearly in distress on the sidewalk where we are, he wants to stop and help them. This has made us late, completely derailed our schedule, and sometimes required urgent searches for toilets.
While it can be inconvenient, I wouldn't trade this trait in my husband, or his family, for anything. There are so few people who will stop and help a person these days, that my husband seems to be a dying breed. I don't know if this is because fewer people are raised in the Church and so no longer have the drive to do good deeds or if it is due to the fear of other people that is instilled in us through news media. Whatever the case, it is rare that a person will stop to help another.
I wish I was comfortable stopping to help a random person, but I'm not Christian. My husband is a large, intimidating man, and could easily handle a crazy or violent person. I cannot. However, I do help when I feel safe doing so. Giving my leftover lunch to someone who is obviously hungry and begging on the street is an easy thing. Giving up my seat in the doctor's office to an old woman who is unsteady on her feet is a no-brainer. While these aren't as spectacular as the help my husband gives, they are definitely appreciated by the person being helped.
This is the kind of giving and compassionate heart people of faith must have. These actions bring light to the world. I hope as a mother, I can bring more of this as well as instill that kind of love and caring in my son. We should all be modern day good Samaritans.
So we got to talk...for about 5 hours. We talked about many things but most importantly I was able to ask her about her brother. This is something I've wanted to ask for a long time. My mother-in-law's brother was killed in a plane crash along with her father many years before. While they come up in conversation on occasion, it was rare for any details to be shared. My husband, however, always brings up the subject for his grandmother because he looks so much like his long dead uncle.
It turns out that's not the only resemblance.
As we talked, I learned Christian's uncle had many similar personality traits, including something that has caused some inconvenience for me on more than one occasion. Like his uncle, Christian is generous and helpful. He inherited the need to help people. Every time we come upon a stranded motorist, Christian wants to stop and help them. If there is someone clearly in distress on the sidewalk where we are, he wants to stop and help them. This has made us late, completely derailed our schedule, and sometimes required urgent searches for toilets.
While it can be inconvenient, I wouldn't trade this trait in my husband, or his family, for anything. There are so few people who will stop and help a person these days, that my husband seems to be a dying breed. I don't know if this is because fewer people are raised in the Church and so no longer have the drive to do good deeds or if it is due to the fear of other people that is instilled in us through news media. Whatever the case, it is rare that a person will stop to help another.
I wish I was comfortable stopping to help a random person, but I'm not Christian. My husband is a large, intimidating man, and could easily handle a crazy or violent person. I cannot. However, I do help when I feel safe doing so. Giving my leftover lunch to someone who is obviously hungry and begging on the street is an easy thing. Giving up my seat in the doctor's office to an old woman who is unsteady on her feet is a no-brainer. While these aren't as spectacular as the help my husband gives, they are definitely appreciated by the person being helped.
This is the kind of giving and compassionate heart people of faith must have. These actions bring light to the world. I hope as a mother, I can bring more of this as well as instill that kind of love and caring in my son. We should all be modern day good Samaritans.
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Why Grow?
The pastor of our beloved East Bay church had a good sermon this past week that raised a very important issue - motivation, specifically motivation surrounding growth.
What is the point in trying to grow a church? I mean, if it doesn't have anything worth while, then why try to grow it?
I've gotten pretty Zen as I've gotten older and so the idea of hanging on to something when it has lost relevance doesn't appeal. We have to let it go.
Now, if a church has something to offer, and members are excited about these offerings and want to share them with other people, that's a whole other issue. In that case, OF COURSE INVITE PEOPLE TO CHURCH!
Clarifying our motivation behind the desire for new members is important, just as it is with any endeavor. It shows in our actions. When we try to get members because we want to get more money into the church, or because we're worried our church will die without them, we will NOT increase membership. We must have good intentions - pure motivation. We have to want new members because we genuinely believe joining our church will be enriching and affirming. People pick up on that sort of thing.
So the question remains, why should our church grow?
What is the point in trying to grow a church? I mean, if it doesn't have anything worth while, then why try to grow it?
I've gotten pretty Zen as I've gotten older and so the idea of hanging on to something when it has lost relevance doesn't appeal. We have to let it go.
Now, if a church has something to offer, and members are excited about these offerings and want to share them with other people, that's a whole other issue. In that case, OF COURSE INVITE PEOPLE TO CHURCH!
Clarifying our motivation behind the desire for new members is important, just as it is with any endeavor. It shows in our actions. When we try to get members because we want to get more money into the church, or because we're worried our church will die without them, we will NOT increase membership. We must have good intentions - pure motivation. We have to want new members because we genuinely believe joining our church will be enriching and affirming. People pick up on that sort of thing.
So the question remains, why should our church grow?
Monday, September 30, 2013
Surprise Lessons
Sometimes, even when we think we know what the plan is, we're surprised when things turn out differently.
I thought my calling for the church here was one thing, when it turns out it was something much different. I know this now because my time there has come to an end; my family is cutting our losses and moving back to the Central Coast.
I'm not sure how my time there will have helped anyone, but I know it has. I also know it helped me. It showed me there are churches out there that I can really become a part of and give to that don't have a family member as the pastor. In fact, it showed me the pastor (though important) isn't as important as the whole community.
The community at this church was so loving and wonderful that even with only having attended a short time, we really felt like we belonged. We were committed to that church. It had been a long time since I felt that in a church. Maybe it had to do with the type of people there, or my own place in life (pregnant when we began attending) though I can't really be sure. All I know is that I felt hope again, for my own spiritual journey as well as Church as a whole.
We can't know what the plan is. We might have an idea, and that idea may be completely wrong. I thought we were going to stay at this church for a long time and that I would help shape the direction of its ministry, but instead it was a moment in time. It was just a stop on my spiritual journey with a large sign post showing me what could and will be.
The journey really is full of surprises.
I thought my calling for the church here was one thing, when it turns out it was something much different. I know this now because my time there has come to an end; my family is cutting our losses and moving back to the Central Coast.
I'm not sure how my time there will have helped anyone, but I know it has. I also know it helped me. It showed me there are churches out there that I can really become a part of and give to that don't have a family member as the pastor. In fact, it showed me the pastor (though important) isn't as important as the whole community.
The community at this church was so loving and wonderful that even with only having attended a short time, we really felt like we belonged. We were committed to that church. It had been a long time since I felt that in a church. Maybe it had to do with the type of people there, or my own place in life (pregnant when we began attending) though I can't really be sure. All I know is that I felt hope again, for my own spiritual journey as well as Church as a whole.
We can't know what the plan is. We might have an idea, and that idea may be completely wrong. I thought we were going to stay at this church for a long time and that I would help shape the direction of its ministry, but instead it was a moment in time. It was just a stop on my spiritual journey with a large sign post showing me what could and will be.
The journey really is full of surprises.
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Why Worry?
Worrying brings no benefit.
This past Sunday our friend and youth pastor had some points in his sermon about worrying that struck close to home. He even mentioned some things that he does that I started to do last week...or was it the week before? I can't keep track. My days and nights have blurred (newborns will do that to you).
The classic scripture of "Tomorrow will take care of itself..." and God takes care of lilies, so of course he'll take care of you - in other words, "Don't worry. Be happy."
That's easier said than done, especially for those of us who are worrywarts (note: I'm holding 2 hands high in the air here...waving, and jumping up and down shouting "Me! Me!"). But here's the thing - worrying is a mark, and it's not the kind you want to have.
Worrying shows that you don't trust - that you have less faith. I know what I'm talking about. The things I worry about are the things I'm not sure will get done. Granted, what happens if those things don't get done? Usually we're just talking about a messy counter top or my baby having a redder bottom than I'd like. BUT there are other things that I see as potential catastrophes in my head (like what will happen when we leave the Bay area and move in with my parents, or Christian can't get a job right away.). The first category I can separate myself from a little - those small things are annoying if they don't get done but the world doesn't end with a messy counter. I can consciously choose to let go of those worries. The second one is a bit harder.
Even though I know I do all I can about those major concerns, and I reach the limit of what I can control, I still worry about them sometimes. I have less faith they will be resolved. I trust less that something will correct them.
The funny thing is, I also know, intellectually, something will correct them. I think the real worry is that I'll have to deal with an even worse situation before everything is righted.
Yes, worrying is fruitless. The things we can change we do (so no worries) and the things we can't, well there's no point. Instead, we need to take a step back and quiet our minds. Pray. That is something we can do no matter how much control we have over a given situation.
Yes. I should definitely pray more. It does a soul good. It may even calm the mind. We can even look at it as though we're giving our worries over to the Divine, then maybe we can trust a bit more and let our faith flourish.
I'd like that a whole lot better than worrying.
This past Sunday our friend and youth pastor had some points in his sermon about worrying that struck close to home. He even mentioned some things that he does that I started to do last week...or was it the week before? I can't keep track. My days and nights have blurred (newborns will do that to you).
The classic scripture of "Tomorrow will take care of itself..." and God takes care of lilies, so of course he'll take care of you - in other words, "Don't worry. Be happy."
That's easier said than done, especially for those of us who are worrywarts (note: I'm holding 2 hands high in the air here...waving, and jumping up and down shouting "Me! Me!"). But here's the thing - worrying is a mark, and it's not the kind you want to have.
Worrying shows that you don't trust - that you have less faith. I know what I'm talking about. The things I worry about are the things I'm not sure will get done. Granted, what happens if those things don't get done? Usually we're just talking about a messy counter top or my baby having a redder bottom than I'd like. BUT there are other things that I see as potential catastrophes in my head (like what will happen when we leave the Bay area and move in with my parents, or Christian can't get a job right away.). The first category I can separate myself from a little - those small things are annoying if they don't get done but the world doesn't end with a messy counter. I can consciously choose to let go of those worries. The second one is a bit harder.
Even though I know I do all I can about those major concerns, and I reach the limit of what I can control, I still worry about them sometimes. I have less faith they will be resolved. I trust less that something will correct them.
The funny thing is, I also know, intellectually, something will correct them. I think the real worry is that I'll have to deal with an even worse situation before everything is righted.
Yes, worrying is fruitless. The things we can change we do (so no worries) and the things we can't, well there's no point. Instead, we need to take a step back and quiet our minds. Pray. That is something we can do no matter how much control we have over a given situation.
Yes. I should definitely pray more. It does a soul good. It may even calm the mind. We can even look at it as though we're giving our worries over to the Divine, then maybe we can trust a bit more and let our faith flourish.
I'd like that a whole lot better than worrying.
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Human Action is God Action
There comes a time when everyone has to make a choice. You can sit on your butt and do nothing, or you can act.
Some people say that humans don't need to act - that trusting God is enough. I'm thinking of Christian Scientists or other groups (several Pentecostal churches come to mind). Certainly there are many groups like this. However, they are missing something major when they do not act:
God works through people.
People are vessels for God's miracles. People are routes for God's will on Earth. We can experience God's mercy, grace, compassion, and unconditional love through the acts of others.
If we think about life this way, it becomes clear that bumper sticker so popular a few years ago ("practice random acts of kindness") was wrong. Acts are not random, especially ones of kindness and grace. They are the purposeful and necessary work of God. There's nothing random about it, though it may appear so to us.
It would seem that we should listen to the stirrings of our heart when it yearns to act for the good of others. These are the movements, the yearnings, of the Spirit. Inaction, waiting for something to happen, does nothing to fulfill God's will. In fact, it prevents it. So when we feel the urge to act, as instruments of God it is essential that we do. We cannot afford to stand still.
Thursday, September 5, 2013
Childbirth is Sacred
If you follow my other blogs or my profile on other social media then you know I had my baby. As such my life is a little different these days.
If you want to read about my birth story, you can do that at Raising An Alien. However, one thing I didn't mention there that makes sense to say here is the self-talk I did while in labor.
As I was going through my pressure waves (contractions) in early labor, I made a noise similar to "Om" or "ah" though my mouth was closed. The sound helped me focus, and it reminded me of chanting. It was a natural thing for me to do - I just slipped into this sound. But the result was interesting. As I made this sound and looked around the dim room or noticed the candle next to the large soaking tub, I recognized how incredibly sacred childbirth is.
I was ritualistically bringing life into the world.
I kept saying that to myself in my head - reminding myself of these facts.
Childbirth isn't something that should routinely happen under bright lights surrounded by machines. It is a holy thing - a special thing. It is a kind of worship. Yes, it is messy and can be loud. Yes only women can do it actively...but partners are as much a part of the process. It is one of the ways humans can be closest to the Divine through creation.
Now more than ever, I am in awe of other women - of all women who have given birth. It is such a holy and unique thing. It is a divine and giving act that everyone is not able to do.
Mothers are truly blessed by God.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Trust is a Hard Thing
I should believe things will turn out better than alright - that they will be wonderful. And part of me thinks that. But part of me is struggling to believe even as I repeat these ideas regularly to myself.
Even after so many people have come up to bat on our behalf, and all the amazing support we've been given with the crazy financial things going on in our lives, I'm still struggling to believe that something will manifest.
And I'm the "positive one" in my marriage. Just imagine what Christian's thinking.
I know there are tons of people around us praying and sending positive thoughts our way. I know that, both intellectually and emotionally. I feel it quite often. And I thank God daily for the amazing community that we found in the church we attend, as well as my father's church.
Thing is, that's not enough.
I'm a hungry person - not my stomach - but my mind and soul. I need a lot. I need regular reassurance. I need regular affirmation. I'm open to how it comes - I don't care what vessel or form it takes, but I do need it. When I have to go without reassurance or affirmation for a period of time, I begin to doubt. I begin to lose hope and faith. I go dark.
In the midst of the worst part of our summer's crisis, I was getting a lot of those reassurances and affirmations in all kinds of ways from people and from God. But now that things have settled into a dangerous balancing act, I feel a little like I've been left out in the cold. The result is I'm starting to stress out a bit more. I'm struggling a little bit more. I'm doubting a little bit more.
My hope is I'll be given another sign soon to lead me to the next step or whatever. That would be enough to carry me for a while, at least to see that step through. And somewhere deep down I know I will be given that sign. I've been pretty fortunate that way. But at the same time, part of me doubts.
It's hard to trust God will show us the next step. It's hard to have faith when we're in the middle of a difficult situation that doesn't seem to be changing. But it will change. There will be a next step, and when I'm shown it, I will take it. Because even if I doubt, ultimately, I trust the plan. And you should too.
Even after so many people have come up to bat on our behalf, and all the amazing support we've been given with the crazy financial things going on in our lives, I'm still struggling to believe that something will manifest.
And I'm the "positive one" in my marriage. Just imagine what Christian's thinking.
I know there are tons of people around us praying and sending positive thoughts our way. I know that, both intellectually and emotionally. I feel it quite often. And I thank God daily for the amazing community that we found in the church we attend, as well as my father's church.
Thing is, that's not enough.
I'm a hungry person - not my stomach - but my mind and soul. I need a lot. I need regular reassurance. I need regular affirmation. I'm open to how it comes - I don't care what vessel or form it takes, but I do need it. When I have to go without reassurance or affirmation for a period of time, I begin to doubt. I begin to lose hope and faith. I go dark.
In the midst of the worst part of our summer's crisis, I was getting a lot of those reassurances and affirmations in all kinds of ways from people and from God. But now that things have settled into a dangerous balancing act, I feel a little like I've been left out in the cold. The result is I'm starting to stress out a bit more. I'm struggling a little bit more. I'm doubting a little bit more.
My hope is I'll be given another sign soon to lead me to the next step or whatever. That would be enough to carry me for a while, at least to see that step through. And somewhere deep down I know I will be given that sign. I've been pretty fortunate that way. But at the same time, part of me doubts.
It's hard to trust God will show us the next step. It's hard to have faith when we're in the middle of a difficult situation that doesn't seem to be changing. But it will change. There will be a next step, and when I'm shown it, I will take it. Because even if I doubt, ultimately, I trust the plan. And you should too.
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
"Religion is for the Strong" or "Jesus the Bad-ass"
You're probably wondering how I could possibly have this title when I'm a Christian.
I'm not saying that only "strong" people can be people of faith - those perfect people who seem to have everything together and do everything right (i.e. 2.5 kids, dog, white picket fence, personal trainer and a 3 course meal every night). I'm not refuting Jesus' message of "blessed are the meek" or "blessed are the poor." I'm saying you really can't be religious without accepting the fact that religion will challenge you. Challenge is hard. Challenge requires determination and persistence.
This challenge comes in the form of asking tough questions (such as really engaging Jesus' messages and questioning how they can be applied in our lives) and requiring counter-culture actions (such as protesting unjust legislation or helping to build sustainable communities for the poor).
You can't be weak-minded and be a person of faith - not if you're truly a person of faith.
I don't mean that a person who has struggled in life and has been beaten down wouldn't be able to be a person of faith. In fact, that person, tempered and honed by experience is probably more likely to be strong in faith than not. Having your faith regularly tested is kind of like leveling up in a video game - every fight becomes an easy win after a while.
Strength comes in many different forms, but the kind that is required for faith and commitment to a community like a church requires some serious thought and engagement with scripture.
I've been saying these kinds of things for years, but it's nice to read some others' words echoing my own feelings on the subject. It seems a lot of people who are currently atheist became atheist because the Church made a mistake. They dumbed-down the message of the gospel. They pandered. They sold-out. However you want to put it, they stopped pushing the strong counter-culture message of Jesus and started putting up some kind of "Buddy Christ" idea for mass consumption, thinking this would be more attractive.
But Buddy Christ is a joke. No one respects this guy.
My Jesus is the Jesus who called authorities on the carpet with quick thinking. My Jesus is the Jesus who made a whip and chased the money lenders out of the temple and flipped their tables. My Jesus is the one who spent time with the people who were the least valued by society and showed them compassion and love. My Jesus is the Jesus who said rich people can't go to heaven because they're too attached to their things.
My Jesus is a bad-ass. He might piss you off. He might humiliate you in front of your peers. He might cry openly in front of hundreds of people. But whatever he does, he does it completely.
That's a guy I can get behind - a guy people respect.
This is the message, the focus the Church needs to return to. And it pisses people off. It makes people uncomfortable. But here's the thing - it's the only way for the Church to be. This is how you build a community - not by making things easy, but by expecting more from people.
Think about your favorite teacher in school. It wasn't the guy who put movies on all the time and then gave you worksheets to fill out. It was the person who demanded more from you - who asked you tough questions and forced you to do things you never would have otherwise. It was the teacher who called you to his or her desk after class and talked to you - asking you point blank why you weren't doing your best. And honestly this was the class you wanted to come to every day - not the worksheet/movie class.
The Church needs to be like our favorite teachers. We need to embrace Jesus the Bad-ass and share him with everyone around us. We need to ask tough questions and call people on the carpet when they're not doing their best. We need to try things we've never tried before...and then, only then, will we truly reflect the Kingdom of God.
I'm not saying that only "strong" people can be people of faith - those perfect people who seem to have everything together and do everything right (i.e. 2.5 kids, dog, white picket fence, personal trainer and a 3 course meal every night). I'm not refuting Jesus' message of "blessed are the meek" or "blessed are the poor." I'm saying you really can't be religious without accepting the fact that religion will challenge you. Challenge is hard. Challenge requires determination and persistence.
This challenge comes in the form of asking tough questions (such as really engaging Jesus' messages and questioning how they can be applied in our lives) and requiring counter-culture actions (such as protesting unjust legislation or helping to build sustainable communities for the poor).
You can't be weak-minded and be a person of faith - not if you're truly a person of faith.
I don't mean that a person who has struggled in life and has been beaten down wouldn't be able to be a person of faith. In fact, that person, tempered and honed by experience is probably more likely to be strong in faith than not. Having your faith regularly tested is kind of like leveling up in a video game - every fight becomes an easy win after a while.
Strength comes in many different forms, but the kind that is required for faith and commitment to a community like a church requires some serious thought and engagement with scripture.
I've been saying these kinds of things for years, but it's nice to read some others' words echoing my own feelings on the subject. It seems a lot of people who are currently atheist became atheist because the Church made a mistake. They dumbed-down the message of the gospel. They pandered. They sold-out. However you want to put it, they stopped pushing the strong counter-culture message of Jesus and started putting up some kind of "Buddy Christ" idea for mass consumption, thinking this would be more attractive.
But Buddy Christ is a joke. No one respects this guy.
My Jesus is the Jesus who called authorities on the carpet with quick thinking. My Jesus is the Jesus who made a whip and chased the money lenders out of the temple and flipped their tables. My Jesus is the one who spent time with the people who were the least valued by society and showed them compassion and love. My Jesus is the Jesus who said rich people can't go to heaven because they're too attached to their things.
My Jesus is a bad-ass. He might piss you off. He might humiliate you in front of your peers. He might cry openly in front of hundreds of people. But whatever he does, he does it completely.
That's a guy I can get behind - a guy people respect.
This is the message, the focus the Church needs to return to. And it pisses people off. It makes people uncomfortable. But here's the thing - it's the only way for the Church to be. This is how you build a community - not by making things easy, but by expecting more from people.
Think about your favorite teacher in school. It wasn't the guy who put movies on all the time and then gave you worksheets to fill out. It was the person who demanded more from you - who asked you tough questions and forced you to do things you never would have otherwise. It was the teacher who called you to his or her desk after class and talked to you - asking you point blank why you weren't doing your best. And honestly this was the class you wanted to come to every day - not the worksheet/movie class.
The Church needs to be like our favorite teachers. We need to embrace Jesus the Bad-ass and share him with everyone around us. We need to ask tough questions and call people on the carpet when they're not doing their best. We need to try things we've never tried before...and then, only then, will we truly reflect the Kingdom of God.
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
Even Atheists Should Go To Church
I have a friend who is an atheist. Actually, I have a number of friends who consider themselves to be atheists because I'm an equal opportunity friend. As long as you're a person who is interested in learning, growing, and trying to make the world a better place, I'm interested in possibly having you as a friend.
However, this particular atheist friend of mine is unusual in that he goes to church.
Let me repeat myself... I have an atheist friend who goes to church.
In fact, he was recruited to help make some structural changes in this church where he attends and so has been very active in the inner workings of this particular faith community. He even confessed to me that times when he's attended worship, he's found some interesting reflections in the sermon that were helpful to him in his life.
Is your mind blown yet? Because it shouldn't be.
Yes my friend doesn't believe in God. Despite this, he has found some major benefits and possibly some community in this particular church. You see, belief doesn't preclude benefits of participating in a community of faith.
A lot of people think that participating in a church or temple is somehow a bad thing. They think that being a member of such a local organization somehow ties them to all the bad things that come from institutions.
Yes, there will always be annoying politics and sniping and all of that. Of course. We're still talking about people here! And yes, people are flawed (just to remind you - so are you - so am I!). But beyond that, we're also talking about a group of people who care for one another. This is how, even though I've only been attending my current church since April, they're throwing us a baby shower this Sunday. This is how even though we've been attending since April, I get hugs from multiple people every Sunday morning.
This is why faith communities are so great.
This is why even an atheist benefits from attending church. Because ultimately, the belief thing doesn't really matter. You can believe whatever you want alone in your room somewhere. No one knows...and no one has to care. BUT...you can't get that love and support that comes from community without well, community. Your thinking can't be challenged without some influx of differing ideas coming your way. These are the things that don't happen when you're alone in your room. These are things that happen at church.
I'm not saying you should go to just any church or temple. They all feel very different and each has their own way of doing things (It's a lot easier to believe whatever you want in a Quaker or Baptist community than say a Catholic or Pentecostal community, for example.). However there is a faith community that will fit with you. It won't be perfect, but none of us are. There will be things that may make you cringe. Hopefully one of them is your passion, and you can get hooked in and make something great happen even if no one there believes exactly the same thing you do.
However, this particular atheist friend of mine is unusual in that he goes to church.
Let me repeat myself... I have an atheist friend who goes to church.
In fact, he was recruited to help make some structural changes in this church where he attends and so has been very active in the inner workings of this particular faith community. He even confessed to me that times when he's attended worship, he's found some interesting reflections in the sermon that were helpful to him in his life.
Is your mind blown yet? Because it shouldn't be.
Yes my friend doesn't believe in God. Despite this, he has found some major benefits and possibly some community in this particular church. You see, belief doesn't preclude benefits of participating in a community of faith.
A lot of people think that participating in a church or temple is somehow a bad thing. They think that being a member of such a local organization somehow ties them to all the bad things that come from institutions.
Yes, there will always be annoying politics and sniping and all of that. Of course. We're still talking about people here! And yes, people are flawed (just to remind you - so are you - so am I!). But beyond that, we're also talking about a group of people who care for one another. This is how, even though I've only been attending my current church since April, they're throwing us a baby shower this Sunday. This is how even though we've been attending since April, I get hugs from multiple people every Sunday morning.
This is why faith communities are so great.
This is why even an atheist benefits from attending church. Because ultimately, the belief thing doesn't really matter. You can believe whatever you want alone in your room somewhere. No one knows...and no one has to care. BUT...you can't get that love and support that comes from community without well, community. Your thinking can't be challenged without some influx of differing ideas coming your way. These are the things that don't happen when you're alone in your room. These are things that happen at church.
I'm not saying you should go to just any church or temple. They all feel very different and each has their own way of doing things (It's a lot easier to believe whatever you want in a Quaker or Baptist community than say a Catholic or Pentecostal community, for example.). However there is a faith community that will fit with you. It won't be perfect, but none of us are. There will be things that may make you cringe. Hopefully one of them is your passion, and you can get hooked in and make something great happen even if no one there believes exactly the same thing you do.
Friday, August 9, 2013
I'm Not a Minister, I Just Act Like One
I'm not a minister...I'm not a minister...I'm not a minister.
Right.
As I've said many times, in many places, I am not a minister. Except, I am.
Damn it.
I'm not a minister...I'm not a minister...
In the past few months I came to a strange conclusion, and it's not exactly an easy one to admit. It might even sound strange to someone who doesn't have any ministers in their family.
I've been acting like a minister for my entire life.
You see, ministers and their families live incredibly political and highly scrutinized existences. When you grow up as a pastor's kid (or PK) you internalize (or rebel against) all the accompanying expectations of being in such an environment.
While I was anything but perfect, I did a good job of towing the family line. In fact, I did such a good job, I ended up taking on the role of minister without realizing it.
I'll give you a few examples.
I'm interested in religion, always have been (probably would have been even if my parents weren't ordained clergy). I have a couple shelves worth of books devoted to religion generally as well as religious texts. I know a fair amount about the subject. As such, people ask me questions. I end up giving impromptu lessons on the differences between protestantism and Catholicism all the time. I teach people the differences between Southern Baptists and American Baptists regularly. I can explain the similarities between the big 6 (the six most influential world faiths), and on a good day, the differences.
But that's kind of expected. That's not the worst of my informal ministerial role.
The worst is I don't have close friends. I mean, I do. I have people that I consider close to me, and people who are important to me, but I never reveal myself completely to these people. There are always pieces of me that are hidden. No one knows the whole story (I mean, if you want to get technical no one can, but you understand what I mean?). I hide things. It's not that I don't consciously trust them. I do...consciously. It's just that subconsciously I'm acting as a minister. Ministers don't become "friends" with people in their churches. They are "friendly." There is always a barrier between ministers and their congregants. They are always professional, even as they behave in friendly ways. They are counselors, advisors, teachers, and guides, but never - never are they "friends."
The problem is I don't have a church...so...I act that way with everyone (except my family).
I've had people call me after years of not speaking asking for advice. I even slip into the role of counselor with people that I've known for years. I do it without thinking about it. It's only when I'm half done giving advice that I realized what I've done.
And before I know it, I've taken on that role with that person.
It sucks.
Now that I recognize this in myself, I'm not entirely sure what to do. It is a natural state for me. I do it well (I mean, I was sort of bred this way). Taking down walls with people who I feel close to is difficult. I've been doing this for so long it's a struggle to bare my vulnerabilities and concerns to people I would call close friends. I'm not sure when I should turn this state "on" and when it should go "off." The whole thing is scary.
I wonder now if the personal difficulties I've had this summer are a way for me to learn how to be close to people - to let someone else take care of me in the way I've been caring for others all my life. It might be one of the lessons I'm supposed to learn (though Lord knows it's hard). Even if it's not the main lesson, it is certainly something I need to practice. Who knows? I might actually figure out how to be a regular person. What a thought!
Right.
As I've said many times, in many places, I am not a minister. Except, I am.
Damn it.
I'm not a minister...I'm not a minister...
In the past few months I came to a strange conclusion, and it's not exactly an easy one to admit. It might even sound strange to someone who doesn't have any ministers in their family.
I've been acting like a minister for my entire life.
You see, ministers and their families live incredibly political and highly scrutinized existences. When you grow up as a pastor's kid (or PK) you internalize (or rebel against) all the accompanying expectations of being in such an environment.
While I was anything but perfect, I did a good job of towing the family line. In fact, I did such a good job, I ended up taking on the role of minister without realizing it.
I'll give you a few examples.
I'm interested in religion, always have been (probably would have been even if my parents weren't ordained clergy). I have a couple shelves worth of books devoted to religion generally as well as religious texts. I know a fair amount about the subject. As such, people ask me questions. I end up giving impromptu lessons on the differences between protestantism and Catholicism all the time. I teach people the differences between Southern Baptists and American Baptists regularly. I can explain the similarities between the big 6 (the six most influential world faiths), and on a good day, the differences.
But that's kind of expected. That's not the worst of my informal ministerial role.
The worst is I don't have close friends. I mean, I do. I have people that I consider close to me, and people who are important to me, but I never reveal myself completely to these people. There are always pieces of me that are hidden. No one knows the whole story (I mean, if you want to get technical no one can, but you understand what I mean?). I hide things. It's not that I don't consciously trust them. I do...consciously. It's just that subconsciously I'm acting as a minister. Ministers don't become "friends" with people in their churches. They are "friendly." There is always a barrier between ministers and their congregants. They are always professional, even as they behave in friendly ways. They are counselors, advisors, teachers, and guides, but never - never are they "friends."
The problem is I don't have a church...so...I act that way with everyone (except my family).
I've had people call me after years of not speaking asking for advice. I even slip into the role of counselor with people that I've known for years. I do it without thinking about it. It's only when I'm half done giving advice that I realized what I've done.
And before I know it, I've taken on that role with that person.
It sucks.
Now that I recognize this in myself, I'm not entirely sure what to do. It is a natural state for me. I do it well (I mean, I was sort of bred this way). Taking down walls with people who I feel close to is difficult. I've been doing this for so long it's a struggle to bare my vulnerabilities and concerns to people I would call close friends. I'm not sure when I should turn this state "on" and when it should go "off." The whole thing is scary.
I wonder now if the personal difficulties I've had this summer are a way for me to learn how to be close to people - to let someone else take care of me in the way I've been caring for others all my life. It might be one of the lessons I'm supposed to learn (though Lord knows it's hard). Even if it's not the main lesson, it is certainly something I need to practice. Who knows? I might actually figure out how to be a regular person. What a thought!
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Going Through the Motions is Good
In the last 10 years I've had more than a few moments of doubt. Each crisis of faith has been intense, difficult, and often downright painful.
In one particular crisis of faith, I remember that I started writing my godfather with questions. I was really struggling and I wanted to talk to someone other than my parents (who have, for the majority of my life, served as both my parents and pastors...which is more than a little awkward). My godfather told me something that has stuck with me.
Sometimes you just have to fake it til you make it.
In other words, everyone has doubts. Everyone has difficult times. Yet if you are disciplined and work through the struggle, the questions, and whatever thoughts and feelings running through your mind, then you'll come out the other side with a strong faith.
Faith requires discipline. It isn't easy. It isn't for the weak. It is for the strong. It is for the determined - the persistent. And yes, sometimes this means going through the motions without really feeling the faith. It's kind of like marriage.
Sometimes in marriage you want to strangle your partner. Sometimes you want to run away, or play the field. But here's the thing - you don't. You stick with it. You deal with whatever issues have come up and you keep going. And then when you come out the other side, your relationship is stronger than ever.
This is the way of things.
Unfortunately it's a path that is frequently forgotten and despised by society at large. But I'm here to say it's worth pursuing. It's worth going through the motions to maintain faith until it is restored - because trust me, it will be. I've been through this enough times to know. You won't regret your decision.
In one particular crisis of faith, I remember that I started writing my godfather with questions. I was really struggling and I wanted to talk to someone other than my parents (who have, for the majority of my life, served as both my parents and pastors...which is more than a little awkward). My godfather told me something that has stuck with me.
Sometimes you just have to fake it til you make it.
In other words, everyone has doubts. Everyone has difficult times. Yet if you are disciplined and work through the struggle, the questions, and whatever thoughts and feelings running through your mind, then you'll come out the other side with a strong faith.
Faith requires discipline. It isn't easy. It isn't for the weak. It is for the strong. It is for the determined - the persistent. And yes, sometimes this means going through the motions without really feeling the faith. It's kind of like marriage.
Sometimes in marriage you want to strangle your partner. Sometimes you want to run away, or play the field. But here's the thing - you don't. You stick with it. You deal with whatever issues have come up and you keep going. And then when you come out the other side, your relationship is stronger than ever.
This is the way of things.
Unfortunately it's a path that is frequently forgotten and despised by society at large. But I'm here to say it's worth pursuing. It's worth going through the motions to maintain faith until it is restored - because trust me, it will be. I've been through this enough times to know. You won't regret your decision.
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Getting Over Grudges
In the interest of not getting any particular person in trouble, I will not point out specific situations in the following discussion. I will speak in generalities. So humor me - it's less dangerous this way.
I have noticed that people take things personally.
Whopping surprise, isn't it? Wow, Alexis! People take things personally! Who would have thought?!
Yes, I know. It is common knowledge this is a problem for many individuals. However, this is not just an individual problem. Whenever we are part of a community the way we process information affects how we interact in that community and therefore, affects communal health.
You see where I'm going with this?
Let's examine the most problematic example in taking something personally - the grudge. Gah! I hate grudges! They eat people up inside and come out in passive aggressive and extremely hurtful ways. They can destroy a family or a community. They almost always destroy the person holding them, especially if the grudge is large enough. Grudges are poison, and poison spreads.
Often times the person holding the grudge won't even realize they're holding it. They won't realize their actions are being influenced by these feelings of hurt, anger, and resentment. They can't see how their words are being shaped into weapons, tearing people down, rather than tools meant to build people up.
So if you're in a community of faith and see someone else has a grudge, what do you do? Well, the most difficult thing (and the most necessary) is to get the person to admit their feelings. When they are voiced, they can be dealt with. Bringing things to the light of day allows for healing and cleansing. If you can't help this person deal with their feelings, find someone who can. You are likely not the only person to have observed their hurtful behavior.
Once the person has dealt with their grudge, then the next step is to help them realize actions are not personal. Even if they are, our reactions do not have to let them be personal. It is our choice how we react to a situation. Choose wisely.
I have noticed that people take things personally.
Whopping surprise, isn't it? Wow, Alexis! People take things personally! Who would have thought?!
Yes, I know. It is common knowledge this is a problem for many individuals. However, this is not just an individual problem. Whenever we are part of a community the way we process information affects how we interact in that community and therefore, affects communal health.
You see where I'm going with this?
Let's examine the most problematic example in taking something personally - the grudge. Gah! I hate grudges! They eat people up inside and come out in passive aggressive and extremely hurtful ways. They can destroy a family or a community. They almost always destroy the person holding them, especially if the grudge is large enough. Grudges are poison, and poison spreads.
Often times the person holding the grudge won't even realize they're holding it. They won't realize their actions are being influenced by these feelings of hurt, anger, and resentment. They can't see how their words are being shaped into weapons, tearing people down, rather than tools meant to build people up.
So if you're in a community of faith and see someone else has a grudge, what do you do? Well, the most difficult thing (and the most necessary) is to get the person to admit their feelings. When they are voiced, they can be dealt with. Bringing things to the light of day allows for healing and cleansing. If you can't help this person deal with their feelings, find someone who can. You are likely not the only person to have observed their hurtful behavior.
Once the person has dealt with their grudge, then the next step is to help them realize actions are not personal. Even if they are, our reactions do not have to let them be personal. It is our choice how we react to a situation. Choose wisely.
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Prayer in Practice
Prayer is something that all religious traditions have to some extent. The format of the prayer may be different. The deity being prayed to may be different. Still, there is something to this concept of talking to the creative force in the universe.
As I sat in my dad's office and listened to some interviews on prayer, I got to thinking about it. Then when I started fiddling with my world religion curriculum (hopefully to be published digitally very soon!) I thought more about the nature of prayer, and how it is practiced, as opposed to how it is supposed to be practiced. Two things bother me about how most people tend to pray.
It seems to me that most people pray in order to ask for things. But here's the catch - I think there is a tendency to ask for very specific things. The irony is of course, that specific things don't tend to happen. Attachment to particular processes or results will inevitably lead to disappointment; the universe simply does not go the predicted path. We are too small, too simple, with too little information to know what the right result should be. Even in cases where something incredibly horrible happens, we cannot know the long term effects. We are finite.
As far as I can tell, God, or the Divine (however you'd like to refer to the creative force in the universe) is far from finite. And I, small as I am, am at least smart enough to concede I have no concept of what infinite really means.
So when I pray, how can I ask for a specific result? That specific thing may in fact be the worst possible situation. I am incapable of knowing! Instead, I should pray for resolution to a situation that will make life more wonderful, according to my needs and those for whom I pray. Open-ended is the rule of the day when it comes to prayer.
I also noticed that most people interviewed in the video did not mention once that they thanked God for the good things in their lives. This seems really strange to me. It seems strange because even when our lives are full of difficulties, there are many things for which to be thankful.
Sometimes (in fact, I would say more often than not) my prayers at night are solely things I'm thankful for. I will go through one thing after another, no matter how small, and thank God for each and every thing. Sometimes if I'm having a really difficult day, I will have to start with those basic things - like having a soft pillow, or my sweet cat, or having eaten a hot meal. Sometimes I'm able to jump to other higher level things right from the beginning of my prayer, like having a loving husband, or a loving family, or good friends. No matter if I start with basic needs being met or relationships or even something more, any time I pray like this, I notice my mood changes and I feel so much better about my life.
It makes me think that all prayers should thank God, at least a little bit, because there is always something to be thankful for, no matter how small. There is so much beauty in the world, so much wonder. Only a person with a blinded spirit could not see the glory of creation and the blessings bestowed on even the lowliest.
Prayer is a good thing. It is something that is part of the human religious experience, and crosses our traditions. Yet when we pray, we should keep in mind that we cannot know the specific answers to our prayers - only that the Divine will certainly provide for us. Likewise, we are already so blessed, we cannot forget to be thankful for each and every blessing - no matter how small. Prayer is so much more than a request. It must be a conversation, and conversations must consist of more than questions.
As I sat in my dad's office and listened to some interviews on prayer, I got to thinking about it. Then when I started fiddling with my world religion curriculum (hopefully to be published digitally very soon!) I thought more about the nature of prayer, and how it is practiced, as opposed to how it is supposed to be practiced. Two things bother me about how most people tend to pray.
It seems to me that most people pray in order to ask for things. But here's the catch - I think there is a tendency to ask for very specific things. The irony is of course, that specific things don't tend to happen. Attachment to particular processes or results will inevitably lead to disappointment; the universe simply does not go the predicted path. We are too small, too simple, with too little information to know what the right result should be. Even in cases where something incredibly horrible happens, we cannot know the long term effects. We are finite.
As far as I can tell, God, or the Divine (however you'd like to refer to the creative force in the universe) is far from finite. And I, small as I am, am at least smart enough to concede I have no concept of what infinite really means.
So when I pray, how can I ask for a specific result? That specific thing may in fact be the worst possible situation. I am incapable of knowing! Instead, I should pray for resolution to a situation that will make life more wonderful, according to my needs and those for whom I pray. Open-ended is the rule of the day when it comes to prayer.
I also noticed that most people interviewed in the video did not mention once that they thanked God for the good things in their lives. This seems really strange to me. It seems strange because even when our lives are full of difficulties, there are many things for which to be thankful.
Sometimes (in fact, I would say more often than not) my prayers at night are solely things I'm thankful for. I will go through one thing after another, no matter how small, and thank God for each and every thing. Sometimes if I'm having a really difficult day, I will have to start with those basic things - like having a soft pillow, or my sweet cat, or having eaten a hot meal. Sometimes I'm able to jump to other higher level things right from the beginning of my prayer, like having a loving husband, or a loving family, or good friends. No matter if I start with basic needs being met or relationships or even something more, any time I pray like this, I notice my mood changes and I feel so much better about my life.
It makes me think that all prayers should thank God, at least a little bit, because there is always something to be thankful for, no matter how small. There is so much beauty in the world, so much wonder. Only a person with a blinded spirit could not see the glory of creation and the blessings bestowed on even the lowliest.
Prayer is a good thing. It is something that is part of the human religious experience, and crosses our traditions. Yet when we pray, we should keep in mind that we cannot know the specific answers to our prayers - only that the Divine will certainly provide for us. Likewise, we are already so blessed, we cannot forget to be thankful for each and every blessing - no matter how small. Prayer is so much more than a request. It must be a conversation, and conversations must consist of more than questions.
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Scripture Still Speaks
Sometimes the only thing to be done is to go back to the source.
Lately many people have been telling me to trust and to let things go. Considering how high strung I've been in the past, I think I've been doing a pretty good job of this. But sometimes, you feel so down in the dumps for such a while that nothing seems to help. The cycle of depression and despair seems so great and so overwhelming nothing makes you feel better.
That's when I get a book.
In my case, it's a red hardback with white and gold lettering - the New Oxford Annotated Bible. I'm of the mind that the spirit - or what you need - will guide you to find exactly what you need when you need it. This might seem a little strange to some people, but it tends to work for me. I do this when I visit libraries or book stores as well, letting the words of the space speak on their own. Eventually they lead you to what you need.
In the case of the book, I hold it upright and then let it fall open to whatever page it deems necessary (This only works if the spine isn't battered to hell by the way, otherwise it would turn to the same pages over and over again.). Since today was just one of those days when I needed guidance, or a good word, I did exactly this. And the book spoke.
It opened to Joel - the very first page of the book.
I doubt I've ever read Joel with any kind of closeness (though some of the passages were certainly familiar to me). As I read the story, I felt my own despair and difficulties echoed in the words. I read the beginning of chapter 1 and then I thought I turned the page, but really turned several. It led me to the end of chapter 2, which if you know Joel, you know talks about how God will not let the people continue to suffer. In fact, it talks about how amazing things will happen and the harvest will be plentiful in every way. It talks about the spirit being poured out onto the flesh which will cause visions and dreams.
And this is reassuring.
For a person with the gift of "intuition" or "discernment" or whatever you want to call it, this is a bit more than an average level of reassuring. And for someone who has been dealing with a very difficult time in her life, a metaphorical plague of locusts, the idea that God will not let this continue is also reassuring.
On the phone yesterday my mother said, "Miracles come in many forms. For now, we'll be a vessel for your miracle." And to some extent, I feel like that may be true. Perhaps my parents' support will act like a dam until a larger miracle comes forward, allowing this flood to be forded. This is my sincerest hope and wish. I hope the words of Joel, echoing across thousands of years are not hollow, but hold a hint of what it to come. I have to believe this is true. The alternative is too stark, too hard for someone weakened as I have been. For that reason, I pray a thankful prayer, grateful for the miracle that is promised.
Lately many people have been telling me to trust and to let things go. Considering how high strung I've been in the past, I think I've been doing a pretty good job of this. But sometimes, you feel so down in the dumps for such a while that nothing seems to help. The cycle of depression and despair seems so great and so overwhelming nothing makes you feel better.
That's when I get a book.
In my case, it's a red hardback with white and gold lettering - the New Oxford Annotated Bible. I'm of the mind that the spirit - or what you need - will guide you to find exactly what you need when you need it. This might seem a little strange to some people, but it tends to work for me. I do this when I visit libraries or book stores as well, letting the words of the space speak on their own. Eventually they lead you to what you need.
In the case of the book, I hold it upright and then let it fall open to whatever page it deems necessary (This only works if the spine isn't battered to hell by the way, otherwise it would turn to the same pages over and over again.). Since today was just one of those days when I needed guidance, or a good word, I did exactly this. And the book spoke.
It opened to Joel - the very first page of the book.
I doubt I've ever read Joel with any kind of closeness (though some of the passages were certainly familiar to me). As I read the story, I felt my own despair and difficulties echoed in the words. I read the beginning of chapter 1 and then I thought I turned the page, but really turned several. It led me to the end of chapter 2, which if you know Joel, you know talks about how God will not let the people continue to suffer. In fact, it talks about how amazing things will happen and the harvest will be plentiful in every way. It talks about the spirit being poured out onto the flesh which will cause visions and dreams.
And this is reassuring.
For a person with the gift of "intuition" or "discernment" or whatever you want to call it, this is a bit more than an average level of reassuring. And for someone who has been dealing with a very difficult time in her life, a metaphorical plague of locusts, the idea that God will not let this continue is also reassuring.
On the phone yesterday my mother said, "Miracles come in many forms. For now, we'll be a vessel for your miracle." And to some extent, I feel like that may be true. Perhaps my parents' support will act like a dam until a larger miracle comes forward, allowing this flood to be forded. This is my sincerest hope and wish. I hope the words of Joel, echoing across thousands of years are not hollow, but hold a hint of what it to come. I have to believe this is true. The alternative is too stark, too hard for someone weakened as I have been. For that reason, I pray a thankful prayer, grateful for the miracle that is promised.
Thursday, July 11, 2013
A Brief Testimony
I'm sorry this has been a bit late. If you follow my other blogs you know this past week has been nothing short of CRAZY, which is why I decided to make this particular post.
Typically I'd post about institutional issues in churches and faith organizations, or doxis, or praxis, or something related to belief systems. In short, normally I write about BIG things here.
But this is a small thing.
Well, not to me. It's not a small thing to anyone who experiences similar situations. It's actually the biggest and most important thing in the world. It just happens to affect only a few people....superficially anyway.
I mean about my personal faith. I am speaking, of course, of the overwhelming response I received after blogging about my husband losing his job on another of my blogs. In fact, it was so big, I actually had strangers from pregnancy forums offering to buy us baby gear. And then of course, there were other things that were happening. My readership jumped on my blogs - in a fairly big way. Then people were asking me what they could do, so I told them they could look for jobs for my husband (or at least keep an eye out) and buy and rate/review my latest book. Well, we had several jobs come at us from this. A few people bought my book (not anything huge, but still - more than before).
Then yesterday Christian had an interview, and got leads on other jobs (and for other news on this you'll have to visit Raising An Alien). My mother confided something to me which surprised me greatly - something that coincided with a personal goal I'd made months ago and largely forgotten.
These things are not coincidence.
I share this with you because in one of our darkest hours, we were bathed in light. We were not forsaken. Love, care, and compassion came at us from even the most unexpected places in small, and sometimes huge ways. While our journey is far from over, and the obstacles are not completely overcome, I know everything will not only be alright, but amazing - fantastic - awe-inspiring. The reason I know this is because I do not believe we could have experienced all this but through the grace of God. I have had many difficult experiences, however this one was the most frightening (initially) because of the baby. And I didn't have to worry. Everything was taken care of, and in more wondrous ways than I could imagine.
And honestly, I'm pretty excited to see what's in store. I have a good feeling.
Typically I'd post about institutional issues in churches and faith organizations, or doxis, or praxis, or something related to belief systems. In short, normally I write about BIG things here.
But this is a small thing.
Well, not to me. It's not a small thing to anyone who experiences similar situations. It's actually the biggest and most important thing in the world. It just happens to affect only a few people....superficially anyway.
I mean about my personal faith. I am speaking, of course, of the overwhelming response I received after blogging about my husband losing his job on another of my blogs. In fact, it was so big, I actually had strangers from pregnancy forums offering to buy us baby gear. And then of course, there were other things that were happening. My readership jumped on my blogs - in a fairly big way. Then people were asking me what they could do, so I told them they could look for jobs for my husband (or at least keep an eye out) and buy and rate/review my latest book. Well, we had several jobs come at us from this. A few people bought my book (not anything huge, but still - more than before).
Then yesterday Christian had an interview, and got leads on other jobs (and for other news on this you'll have to visit Raising An Alien). My mother confided something to me which surprised me greatly - something that coincided with a personal goal I'd made months ago and largely forgotten.
These things are not coincidence.
I share this with you because in one of our darkest hours, we were bathed in light. We were not forsaken. Love, care, and compassion came at us from even the most unexpected places in small, and sometimes huge ways. While our journey is far from over, and the obstacles are not completely overcome, I know everything will not only be alright, but amazing - fantastic - awe-inspiring. The reason I know this is because I do not believe we could have experienced all this but through the grace of God. I have had many difficult experiences, however this one was the most frightening (initially) because of the baby. And I didn't have to worry. Everything was taken care of, and in more wondrous ways than I could imagine.
And honestly, I'm pretty excited to see what's in store. I have a good feeling.
Sunday, July 7, 2013
Titles Don't Make Leaders
"What does it take to be a leader?" This could easily be an opening line of a college business 201 class, however leadership isn't something reserved for business. It's something that has a place in social, political, and cultural life as well. Leadership is most especially something important to communities of faith.
In the past weeks my own spiritual journey has brought me into contact with several leadership styles and conflicts in leadership. It reminded me that faith communities need to remember several things.
Just because you have been given a leadership title does NOT make you a leader. You are not entitled to respect because you have the title. I can be given the title of CEO at a tech company in Silicon Valley, but believe me, I would have no idea the specifics of that company's needs and therefore could not lead effectively.
Leadership requires knowledge. You need to know something about the area your group is addressing. So if you're the chair of the stewardship committee, you should probably have at least have a vague understanding of where revenue streams come from in a faith community and how you might go about getting more.
But this isn't the only kind of knowledge you need to be a leader. A leader needs to be able to command people. This means they should know how to facilitate a meeting, for example. They should know how to direct people to a task and keep them on task.
Additionally, a leader often has certain qualities that distinguish him or her from the group. They likely have charisma - something that automatically draws people in. Often times when a leader walks into a room, you know it. Their presence speaks before they open their mouths. Leaders have confidence. They make decisions, delegate, and execute. They don't hem and haw and waste time. If a mistake is made, they accept it, re-evaluate, change and move on. Leaders are assertive. They see something that needs to be addressed, and they take initiative and get it done. Leaders need to be comfortable addressing a group of people. A certain amount of extroversion is useful. How can you expect a group of people to follow you if you won't get up in front of people and be the example?
Now these qualities are of a natural leader. Let's face it - some leaders are born. They grow up with the ability to command and can do nothing less than dominate a room. But what about those who aren't bred to lead? Well unfortunately charisma really can't be taught. Confidence, however, can be practiced and learned. Presence can be feigned. To some extent, initiative can be learned. Extroversion can be faked, or at least practiced. Knowledge, of course, can be acquired.
So it is possible to fake it til you make it, so to speak. But many people don't bother developing these qualities in themselves. They don't seem to find it necessary. They think they have what it takes without those qualities.
It bothers me when I see people in faith communities assuming that because they have passion for an area of ministry that somehow qualifies them to be leaders.
No. Passion is good. Calling is good. But you need more than these things in order to lead a group of people and earn their respect enough so you can get something done. You cannot be a shrinking violet and hope that people won't ignore you, but will allow you to lead. Seriously...allow you to lead???
That is not leadership. I'm not sure what that is. A hot mess. A leader doesn't wait for permission. A leader executes. A leader speaks, and the masses listen. A leader delegates, and followers do. This is the way of things.
So when a person with a leadership title who is NOT ready to be a leader asks a natural leader to come on to a team, yes, it will cause problems. The titled person will wonder why he can't get a word in while everyone stops talking as soon as the natural leader opens her mouth. But we know he didn't spend any time on leadership skills and she was born that way.
To him I say, want to lead a meeting? At least read Robert's Rules for GOD's sake!
In the past weeks my own spiritual journey has brought me into contact with several leadership styles and conflicts in leadership. It reminded me that faith communities need to remember several things.
Just because you have been given a leadership title does NOT make you a leader. You are not entitled to respect because you have the title. I can be given the title of CEO at a tech company in Silicon Valley, but believe me, I would have no idea the specifics of that company's needs and therefore could not lead effectively.
Leadership requires knowledge. You need to know something about the area your group is addressing. So if you're the chair of the stewardship committee, you should probably have at least have a vague understanding of where revenue streams come from in a faith community and how you might go about getting more.
But this isn't the only kind of knowledge you need to be a leader. A leader needs to be able to command people. This means they should know how to facilitate a meeting, for example. They should know how to direct people to a task and keep them on task.
Additionally, a leader often has certain qualities that distinguish him or her from the group. They likely have charisma - something that automatically draws people in. Often times when a leader walks into a room, you know it. Their presence speaks before they open their mouths. Leaders have confidence. They make decisions, delegate, and execute. They don't hem and haw and waste time. If a mistake is made, they accept it, re-evaluate, change and move on. Leaders are assertive. They see something that needs to be addressed, and they take initiative and get it done. Leaders need to be comfortable addressing a group of people. A certain amount of extroversion is useful. How can you expect a group of people to follow you if you won't get up in front of people and be the example?
Now these qualities are of a natural leader. Let's face it - some leaders are born. They grow up with the ability to command and can do nothing less than dominate a room. But what about those who aren't bred to lead? Well unfortunately charisma really can't be taught. Confidence, however, can be practiced and learned. Presence can be feigned. To some extent, initiative can be learned. Extroversion can be faked, or at least practiced. Knowledge, of course, can be acquired.
So it is possible to fake it til you make it, so to speak. But many people don't bother developing these qualities in themselves. They don't seem to find it necessary. They think they have what it takes without those qualities.
It bothers me when I see people in faith communities assuming that because they have passion for an area of ministry that somehow qualifies them to be leaders.
No. Passion is good. Calling is good. But you need more than these things in order to lead a group of people and earn their respect enough so you can get something done. You cannot be a shrinking violet and hope that people won't ignore you, but will allow you to lead. Seriously...allow you to lead???
That is not leadership. I'm not sure what that is. A hot mess. A leader doesn't wait for permission. A leader executes. A leader speaks, and the masses listen. A leader delegates, and followers do. This is the way of things.
So when a person with a leadership title who is NOT ready to be a leader asks a natural leader to come on to a team, yes, it will cause problems. The titled person will wonder why he can't get a word in while everyone stops talking as soon as the natural leader opens her mouth. But we know he didn't spend any time on leadership skills and she was born that way.
To him I say, want to lead a meeting? At least read Robert's Rules for GOD's sake!
Thursday, July 4, 2013
God's Signs
The question of my calling has always been in the back of my head. The idea of being in ministry has plagued me since before I could talk. It's the family business after all. My uncle is a minister. My second cousin is a minister. A couple generations back I had a relative who was a missionary and died in the field. Most importantly, my parents are both ministers.
Then of course, there are the family friends who are ministers - of which there are many. Even my godfather is a world renowned biblical scholar. And those are just the Christian friends. That doesn't even touch the Jewish, Hindu, and Islamic religious leaders my family knows and loves.
I grew up surrounded by religion.
So of course, the question arose, "Isn't Alexis going to be a pastor too?"
After all, I have all the skills. If people were bred for particular jobs, I could have been bred for the ministry. I speak, teach, and write well. People regularly come to me asking for advice. I can boil any problem down to its essentials. I have a knowledge of other cultures and perspectives. I know how to structure a worship service for maximum effectiveness. I can even sing and understand music (a bonus, though not strictly necessary to be a pastor).
BUT I have run away from the idea of being a pastor forever. The idea of being stuck with a church and dealing with all the problems I watched my parents deal with regularly sounds like a special kind of hell to me. Yet ministry isn't just about being a pastor. There are many kinds of ministry...
Now I find myself in a situation where the question of ministry has resurfaced. And seriously, it couldn't be more tangled up and crazy if I asked for it.
Let me explain without giving all the gory details.
A pastor is asked to leave because he did some really REALLY bad things that hurt a bunch of people. I knew he was within months of leaving the church when we started attending there. I also knew some of the things he had trouble with in general, though I didn't know the particulars. I knew these things without being told even BEFORE his resignation was announced. One of those people, in a position of influence in the church, was hurt very personally. I happen to have some experience with the same kind of hurt, and so am able to understand her situation, as well as communicate about it a bit more than someone without that experience.
The interim pastor in one of her sermons described foreknowledge as "discernment" and something necessary for a church, particularly one looking for where to go next. I met with her and told her about my knowledge, and she pointed out this ability as "discernment." We talked some more and we discussed our Myers-Briggs types. I'm an INFJ while she is an ENFP. These two types work extremely well together and their abilities generally compliment one another.
Needless to say, I feel like I fit in this situation a little too perfectly.
It's been a long time since God made things so evident in my life. Sure I've had moments where it was clear I was in the right place and time, but nothing that felt like it was prompting me to action. Here it is clear there is something I need to do. I'm not convinced it is help this particular church... I mean, yes obviously that is a part of it. Still it feels like there is something I need to take away from this situation. I feel like there is a lesson here - a growth opportunity for me. I know it's not something like patience. I learned that with my art students this past year (Oh kindergarteners! Oh prepubescents!). This is something more complex and more subtle. This is something that is directional. This is something that will get to my core.
I know this, the same way I knew about the pastor - the same way I knew this year was going to be a big year for my husband and I. It is unsettling.
More than ever, I'm on my guard. I'm both steeling myself against whatever might be coming my way because I know it will be big, as well as looking to find whatever clues might be hidden in even the most casual off-hand remarks. The signs are all there. Now I just have to wait to see what will be revealed. I'm both anxious and excited, because I have no idea how this will turn out. It wasn't a part of my plans at all. This is completely a God thing.
Then of course, there are the family friends who are ministers - of which there are many. Even my godfather is a world renowned biblical scholar. And those are just the Christian friends. That doesn't even touch the Jewish, Hindu, and Islamic religious leaders my family knows and loves.
I grew up surrounded by religion.
So of course, the question arose, "Isn't Alexis going to be a pastor too?"
After all, I have all the skills. If people were bred for particular jobs, I could have been bred for the ministry. I speak, teach, and write well. People regularly come to me asking for advice. I can boil any problem down to its essentials. I have a knowledge of other cultures and perspectives. I know how to structure a worship service for maximum effectiveness. I can even sing and understand music (a bonus, though not strictly necessary to be a pastor).
BUT I have run away from the idea of being a pastor forever. The idea of being stuck with a church and dealing with all the problems I watched my parents deal with regularly sounds like a special kind of hell to me. Yet ministry isn't just about being a pastor. There are many kinds of ministry...
Now I find myself in a situation where the question of ministry has resurfaced. And seriously, it couldn't be more tangled up and crazy if I asked for it.
Let me explain without giving all the gory details.
A pastor is asked to leave because he did some really REALLY bad things that hurt a bunch of people. I knew he was within months of leaving the church when we started attending there. I also knew some of the things he had trouble with in general, though I didn't know the particulars. I knew these things without being told even BEFORE his resignation was announced. One of those people, in a position of influence in the church, was hurt very personally. I happen to have some experience with the same kind of hurt, and so am able to understand her situation, as well as communicate about it a bit more than someone without that experience.
The interim pastor in one of her sermons described foreknowledge as "discernment" and something necessary for a church, particularly one looking for where to go next. I met with her and told her about my knowledge, and she pointed out this ability as "discernment." We talked some more and we discussed our Myers-Briggs types. I'm an INFJ while she is an ENFP. These two types work extremely well together and their abilities generally compliment one another.
Needless to say, I feel like I fit in this situation a little too perfectly.
It's been a long time since God made things so evident in my life. Sure I've had moments where it was clear I was in the right place and time, but nothing that felt like it was prompting me to action. Here it is clear there is something I need to do. I'm not convinced it is help this particular church... I mean, yes obviously that is a part of it. Still it feels like there is something I need to take away from this situation. I feel like there is a lesson here - a growth opportunity for me. I know it's not something like patience. I learned that with my art students this past year (Oh kindergarteners! Oh prepubescents!). This is something more complex and more subtle. This is something that is directional. This is something that will get to my core.
I know this, the same way I knew about the pastor - the same way I knew this year was going to be a big year for my husband and I. It is unsettling.
More than ever, I'm on my guard. I'm both steeling myself against whatever might be coming my way because I know it will be big, as well as looking to find whatever clues might be hidden in even the most casual off-hand remarks. The signs are all there. Now I just have to wait to see what will be revealed. I'm both anxious and excited, because I have no idea how this will turn out. It wasn't a part of my plans at all. This is completely a God thing.
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Freethinking is Not Atheism
In the past week I was bombarded by a multitude of people and things around this issue of thought versus faith. Clearly God wanted it discussed. After all, there are no coincidences...
It unsettles me when someone associates "freethinking" with atheism and only atheism. This is frankly bizarre. How can one group of people be universally freethinking? It doesn't matter what the group is, there will be people who are dependent on the thoughts of others as well as independent thinkers. This is a given. There is no group of people who doesn't have this spectrum (even academics, bless their hearts, have dependent thinkers in their midst!).
Thought and faith are not mutually exclusive.
The idea that I am incapable of thinking critically or analytically because I happen to ascribe to a belief system is silly. This is like the false assumption that scientists cannot be believers. Science and faith are not mutually exclusive. In fact, many scientists do believe.
I would argue, rather than weakening my faith, my ability to ask difficult questions and struggle with them makes my faith stronger. It is, after all, easy to be told what to think and accept it without question. People like that, as a general rule. It is much harder, and takes a stronger person to wrestle with difficult questions and come out with their faith in tact.
Consider, once I left my father's house (I say father because he is the one who told me I couldn't attend any other church or faith community until I left), I decided to learn more about other faith traditions. I went on to study them in great detail. I considered becoming a Sikh. I considered becoming a Muslim. I considered going off on a wild gallivanting path through Wiccan ritual. I considered believing in nothing. I wrestled with all these things and more. I questioned everything I'd been taught. I have a miniature religious studies library upstairs that few people can boast. I read holy scriptures and I listened to testimonies and talked with people. I came to several conclusions.
Now tell me, am I not a freethinker?
Before anyone assumes that all religious people are sheeple, please remember my story and how I wrestled with my faith by asking difficult questions and studying religion comparatively. There are more people in the world like me. Do us a favor, and do not assume we cannot think for ourselves, and we won't assume you can. :-)
It unsettles me when someone associates "freethinking" with atheism and only atheism. This is frankly bizarre. How can one group of people be universally freethinking? It doesn't matter what the group is, there will be people who are dependent on the thoughts of others as well as independent thinkers. This is a given. There is no group of people who doesn't have this spectrum (even academics, bless their hearts, have dependent thinkers in their midst!).
Thought and faith are not mutually exclusive.
The idea that I am incapable of thinking critically or analytically because I happen to ascribe to a belief system is silly. This is like the false assumption that scientists cannot be believers. Science and faith are not mutually exclusive. In fact, many scientists do believe.
I would argue, rather than weakening my faith, my ability to ask difficult questions and struggle with them makes my faith stronger. It is, after all, easy to be told what to think and accept it without question. People like that, as a general rule. It is much harder, and takes a stronger person to wrestle with difficult questions and come out with their faith in tact.
Consider, once I left my father's house (I say father because he is the one who told me I couldn't attend any other church or faith community until I left), I decided to learn more about other faith traditions. I went on to study them in great detail. I considered becoming a Sikh. I considered becoming a Muslim. I considered going off on a wild gallivanting path through Wiccan ritual. I considered believing in nothing. I wrestled with all these things and more. I questioned everything I'd been taught. I have a miniature religious studies library upstairs that few people can boast. I read holy scriptures and I listened to testimonies and talked with people. I came to several conclusions.
- Religion is cultural. The institution provides a framework that speaks to a given place and time. Therefore, all religions will not speak to all people.
- Religion has some truth. The question is, how much truth and what are the misrepresentations? Then, can you live with the misrepresentations present?
- My beliefs don't have to follow the strict party line. I can believe things that don't necessarily agree with the dogma of a given community. This is a common practice, otherwise we'd have a lot more Catholics in the world (just saying, natural family planning only goes so far).
- I'm still a Christian.
Now tell me, am I not a freethinker?
Before anyone assumes that all religious people are sheeple, please remember my story and how I wrestled with my faith by asking difficult questions and studying religion comparatively. There are more people in the world like me. Do us a favor, and do not assume we cannot think for ourselves, and we won't assume you can. :-)
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Starting Over in a Church: What Happens When Pastors Leave
Recently the church I have been attending lost their pastor. Well, technically he resigned (and with good cause). The massive hole he left in his wake has been difficult for the congregation to deal with. He was there a long time (22 years!) and many parts of the church depended on him to function effectively.
As a child of 2 ministers, I had never been the one to stay when a pastor left. I was always part of the family leaving. I never saw the aftermath of even an amicable parting, let alone a difficult one. I had no idea what to expect or exactly what the process would be like. I don't even know everyone's name yet. I've only been going to this church for 2 months.
And somehow I'm on the worship committee.
Sigh.
One of the things that I discovered in my short time sitting in on worship committee meetings is the necessity for sustainable structures in a community of faith. A danger for smaller faith communities is relying too much on any single person for ministries or knowledge. In a small church, it is easy to heavily rely on the knowledge, skills, and experience of the pastor. But what happens when the pastor leaves? He or she takes that body of knowledge, skills, and experience with them, leaving a gaping hole in the middle of the church, which the community has to scramble to fill.
Instead, it is better to train church members in various skills in order to make them more self-reliant. A pastor should be a guide, not the whole show. Yes, this is difficult to do when the community is small, but delegating tasks to various church members isn't an impossibility. Fostering leaders within the church in different aspects of worship, care, and other areas benefits everyone. Not only does it take some of the burden off the minister, which prevents burn out, but it also prevents that gaping hole from occurring when the pastor leaves. This means the church doesn't stop or regress when the pastor leaves, which benefits the community as a whole because it maintains community health.
For example, this particular church in question had a pastor who was very musically inclined. When he left, the music went back to hymns right out of the hymnal and most of them were written before 1932. No one knew what to do. It was like this person hadn't been there for 22 years. Suddenly the mantle of worship music had to be taken up by someone else, and no one knew exactly how to do that or where to access new songs etc. No one had that knowledge and no one had been trained to maintain the ministry of music in a way that spoke to this particular congregation.
In short, it was a huge blow.
Having more members in the community with that knowledge and wherewithal would have prevented this abysmal regression from taking place. Fortunately most of the congregation is very gracious, and it hasn't been horribly hurtful (though I'm reserving my judgment for September when attendance typically picks up again) but it could have been.
Obviously it is important to rely some on a pastor's skills, knowledge, and experience. These people are trained to lead communities of faith. There is a reason we pay them (and not just because hopefully they preach good sermons every Sunday morning). That said, the pastor should not be the only leg on which a church's ministry stands. Leadership must come from within the community if the community is to be healthy. Likewise, pastors cannot hold their knowledge hostage, but must share with their church leaders in order to ensure ministries persist despite personnel changes.
Though it should be noted, the same could be said for other church leaders holding their knowledge hostage...
So have you experienced a gaping hole when church leadership changed? What are some lessons you learned from the experience? Please leave a comment below!
As a child of 2 ministers, I had never been the one to stay when a pastor left. I was always part of the family leaving. I never saw the aftermath of even an amicable parting, let alone a difficult one. I had no idea what to expect or exactly what the process would be like. I don't even know everyone's name yet. I've only been going to this church for 2 months.
And somehow I'm on the worship committee.
Sigh.
One of the things that I discovered in my short time sitting in on worship committee meetings is the necessity for sustainable structures in a community of faith. A danger for smaller faith communities is relying too much on any single person for ministries or knowledge. In a small church, it is easy to heavily rely on the knowledge, skills, and experience of the pastor. But what happens when the pastor leaves? He or she takes that body of knowledge, skills, and experience with them, leaving a gaping hole in the middle of the church, which the community has to scramble to fill.
Instead, it is better to train church members in various skills in order to make them more self-reliant. A pastor should be a guide, not the whole show. Yes, this is difficult to do when the community is small, but delegating tasks to various church members isn't an impossibility. Fostering leaders within the church in different aspects of worship, care, and other areas benefits everyone. Not only does it take some of the burden off the minister, which prevents burn out, but it also prevents that gaping hole from occurring when the pastor leaves. This means the church doesn't stop or regress when the pastor leaves, which benefits the community as a whole because it maintains community health.
For example, this particular church in question had a pastor who was very musically inclined. When he left, the music went back to hymns right out of the hymnal and most of them were written before 1932. No one knew what to do. It was like this person hadn't been there for 22 years. Suddenly the mantle of worship music had to be taken up by someone else, and no one knew exactly how to do that or where to access new songs etc. No one had that knowledge and no one had been trained to maintain the ministry of music in a way that spoke to this particular congregation.
In short, it was a huge blow.
Having more members in the community with that knowledge and wherewithal would have prevented this abysmal regression from taking place. Fortunately most of the congregation is very gracious, and it hasn't been horribly hurtful (though I'm reserving my judgment for September when attendance typically picks up again) but it could have been.
Obviously it is important to rely some on a pastor's skills, knowledge, and experience. These people are trained to lead communities of faith. There is a reason we pay them (and not just because hopefully they preach good sermons every Sunday morning). That said, the pastor should not be the only leg on which a church's ministry stands. Leadership must come from within the community if the community is to be healthy. Likewise, pastors cannot hold their knowledge hostage, but must share with their church leaders in order to ensure ministries persist despite personnel changes.
Though it should be noted, the same could be said for other church leaders holding their knowledge hostage...
So have you experienced a gaping hole when church leadership changed? What are some lessons you learned from the experience? Please leave a comment below!
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Not In Our Backyard! or "I'm a Christian BUT..."
I am shocked and disgusted. I wasn't sure I was going to write this post, but I think I have to. There's a money lender table that needs flipping.
I have to point out the few things that strike me about the battle being waged against my father (and my Father, if you know what I mean).
My dad's church in Goleta has applied and received a permit to participate in a safe parking program. The program allows vetted individuals the opportunity to park in a safe location within the community. These are people who cannot afford a home. They have no home, which isn't too surprising considering they're living in a place which has one of the more expensive housing costs in the country (Thanks prop 13! Thanks no living wage!). The rules of the program in question are incredibly strict, and when violated a single time result in expulsion from the program.
We're not talking about drugged out vagrants here. We're talking about upstanding people who happen to be too poor to live in an apartment. There's a difference.
Poverty is not a crime. However many people from the community have effectively said this very thing. The idea of having poor people in their community is repellent. It is frightening - disgusting.
My father has often called me despairing the negative reaction of community members to the efforts his church is putting towards serving those in need in Goleta and Santa Barbara. He is just doing his job as a pastor, helping his church to realize the will of God in their community as they feel called. What could be more in line with Christian teaching than serving the homeless? I can't imagine anything more Christian.
But maybe my definition of Christian is off base.
One of the things he related to me which was particularly concerning was the repeated statement at the series of hearings held regarding this issue "I'm a Christian, BUT..." Inevitably this phrase is followed by another much more shocking phrase to the tune of "...not in my backyard!"
Ahem.
This type of sentence is akin to saying, "I'm a vegetarian but I eat chicken." Excuse me deary, but if you eat chicken, you're NOT a vegetarian. You're a fraud.
So, "I'm a Christian but I don't want homeless people staying across the street from me!" is confessing that actually, sorry, no - you're NOT a Christian. I don't think the Jews or Muslims would accept you. No, you're pretty much not adhering to the will of God. You're actually going AGAINST God. Read a few scriptures. You'll see it pretty clearly.
I will grant the fact that being a good person of faith is difficult to do. It's something that takes practice and discipline. But some choices presented to us are easy and logical and require little effort. This safe parking program is one of those easy choices. It's not even on the same level as giving your leftovers to the guy begging on the park bench. It's easier than that, and giving your leftovers away is PRETTY easy (speaking as someone who does that regularly when I actually have leftovers). Pushing against such a choice that would have a positive impact on a person's life is a horrible, wretched thing to do. It is not loving. It is not a reflection of God's will.
So, I pray most sincerely that the people of Goleta will be struck like Saul. I pray their hearts will be opened, they will hear the will of God and the call to be a good neighbor to all their neighbors, regardless of their income level or housing status. Amen.
I have to point out the few things that strike me about the battle being waged against my father (and my Father, if you know what I mean).
My dad's church in Goleta has applied and received a permit to participate in a safe parking program. The program allows vetted individuals the opportunity to park in a safe location within the community. These are people who cannot afford a home. They have no home, which isn't too surprising considering they're living in a place which has one of the more expensive housing costs in the country (Thanks prop 13! Thanks no living wage!). The rules of the program in question are incredibly strict, and when violated a single time result in expulsion from the program.
We're not talking about drugged out vagrants here. We're talking about upstanding people who happen to be too poor to live in an apartment. There's a difference.
Poverty is not a crime. However many people from the community have effectively said this very thing. The idea of having poor people in their community is repellent. It is frightening - disgusting.
My father has often called me despairing the negative reaction of community members to the efforts his church is putting towards serving those in need in Goleta and Santa Barbara. He is just doing his job as a pastor, helping his church to realize the will of God in their community as they feel called. What could be more in line with Christian teaching than serving the homeless? I can't imagine anything more Christian.
But maybe my definition of Christian is off base.
One of the things he related to me which was particularly concerning was the repeated statement at the series of hearings held regarding this issue "I'm a Christian, BUT..." Inevitably this phrase is followed by another much more shocking phrase to the tune of "...not in my backyard!"
Ahem.
This type of sentence is akin to saying, "I'm a vegetarian but I eat chicken." Excuse me deary, but if you eat chicken, you're NOT a vegetarian. You're a fraud.
So, "I'm a Christian but I don't want homeless people staying across the street from me!" is confessing that actually, sorry, no - you're NOT a Christian. I don't think the Jews or Muslims would accept you. No, you're pretty much not adhering to the will of God. You're actually going AGAINST God. Read a few scriptures. You'll see it pretty clearly.
I will grant the fact that being a good person of faith is difficult to do. It's something that takes practice and discipline. But some choices presented to us are easy and logical and require little effort. This safe parking program is one of those easy choices. It's not even on the same level as giving your leftovers to the guy begging on the park bench. It's easier than that, and giving your leftovers away is PRETTY easy (speaking as someone who does that regularly when I actually have leftovers). Pushing against such a choice that would have a positive impact on a person's life is a horrible, wretched thing to do. It is not loving. It is not a reflection of God's will.
So, I pray most sincerely that the people of Goleta will be struck like Saul. I pray their hearts will be opened, they will hear the will of God and the call to be a good neighbor to all their neighbors, regardless of their income level or housing status. Amen.
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
What The Boston Bombings Can Teach Us
I know it's been some time since the attacks in Boston. And some people would say there was only one thing to take from such a tragedy - we in America need to toughen up security. Fear increased and so did accusations - about the people responsible as well as their motives.
I would argue this has actually taught us quite the opposite. By living in one of the most diverse countries in the world, necessarily there will always be differences. We are a nation of immigrants. The idea that we could some how homogenize our society is preposterous.
Rather than point fingers and stereotype, it behooves us to spend time learning about one another. How can we do that? What is the common ground on which we can stand?
Ironically, those fingers pointing to religion as a wall, could just as easily point us to a solution. By spending time educating ourselves about the commonalities between religions, we can start to have not only conversations, but work on the issues that concern all of us - like poverty and hunger - as opposed to getting hung up on doctrine or dogma.
Moving forward, I pray we will build bridges and extend hands, instead of erecting walls and throwing stones.
I would argue this has actually taught us quite the opposite. By living in one of the most diverse countries in the world, necessarily there will always be differences. We are a nation of immigrants. The idea that we could some how homogenize our society is preposterous.
Rather than point fingers and stereotype, it behooves us to spend time learning about one another. How can we do that? What is the common ground on which we can stand?
Ironically, those fingers pointing to religion as a wall, could just as easily point us to a solution. By spending time educating ourselves about the commonalities between religions, we can start to have not only conversations, but work on the issues that concern all of us - like poverty and hunger - as opposed to getting hung up on doctrine or dogma.
Moving forward, I pray we will build bridges and extend hands, instead of erecting walls and throwing stones.
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