Recently I have come to a place of acceptance and humility, and through that celebration.
Now I accept myself, really love myself, which makes it so much easier to love others. I am okay with my personal journey, not in competition, but as my personal path. Suddenly everyone is completely equal because they all have personal journeys that are not contingent on mine. Abilities, station - it does not matter. And I am grateful for this understanding because I enjoy everything much more.
When seeing other people as equal, it becomes a joy to watch them. To see others succeed is a great joy. I get excited like they were my favorite team, lover, or best friend. It does not matter how far from my experience they are, I love their successes. I love their joy.
Likewise, when they shrink back from their purpose, I get disappointed. I get angry. I get sad.
When they hurt, I hurt. When they bleed, I bleed with them. And just as if they were a lover or friend, I want to help.
I want to give advice. I want to be a shoulder to cry on. I want to buy them a beer (or a tea) and sit down and let them talk themselves hoarse.
I was not always like this. I used to blame people. Sometimes hate them. And even now, sometimes, I may say I hate a person, but what I really hate is his or her action.
This is the spirit with which I view Charleston. And it is not easy. Not an easy thing to look at the events of last night, in a holy place, in a loving community, hurt because of an uncontrollable characteristic that a person hates.
Yet, I have been in communities touched by violence, by hate. I have felt that grief, the transformation that occurs. And I have heard cries for anger and justice. And in the face of this, I understand them perfectly.
And I am a parent of a boy and know how it feels to watch my son hurt someone. And yet love him.
I have seen people hate blindly, and unreasonably clung to ideologies because of personal insecurities, perpetuated by parents and friends. And it has made me angry and struggle to foster an environment that allowed for change.
And the thing I see most in Charleston, the need I see is the hardest one.
To the white community of South Carolina, be humble. Be apologetic. Be responsible and own your place in this act. And seek justice in the spirit of healing your community. Seek education, integration, exposure, and understanding. Seek forgiveness in a humble, responsible way. Own your faults and seek to correct them. Learn empathy. Learn compassion. This is the path I know God would want for you.
The black community of South Carolina is not required to educate, or even to forgive you. It is your responsibility to extend an apology. It is your responsibility to ask what reparations must be made. I know in a spirit of Divine love, this is the quickest path to healing. And I want you to facilitate healing. I want you to be better and recognize your role in this.
This takes time. It is never fully done. But you can make progress. You can improve. You can practice an empathetic love that spans every human-made barrier.
There are peacemakers everywhere. There are books and classes and organizations that would help you. Reach out in love. It is the right thing to do.
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