Bigots, Beliefs, and Betterment

The world is complex and beautiful. So are people.

First, faith is not an excuse to be an asshole. Belief, in ANY ideology of ANY kind, does not give you the right to discriminate, to hate, to sadism, to evil.

That is all the self, which uses ideology to justify bad behavior.

Second, I identify with all of the following things:

• pro-choice
• wife
• socialist
• feminist
• mother
• writer
• artist
• spiritual
• political
• teacher
• singer
• social justice activist
• oh...and by the way...Christian.

I mean, the last one is really obvious from this blog (I think anyway) but you may or may not have known about the others. Some of them are innocuous identities (singer generally doesn't rock boats), but others come with a lot of baggage (feminist...for example) and none of them are mutually exclusive.

I repeat: none of these are mutually exclusive.

Life is not 1 or 0 - it does not function in a binary system of states. People are complex and varied. Belief, thought, and associations are fluid. They change. They morph. They are not exclusionary sets.

AND guess what? NO ONE KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT ANYONE.

So much more I have to learn about this guy...

For example, I love my husband, and I learn more about him the longer I'm around him. While I know him well, there is always more about him I can learn. That is part of why I like marriage so much; it gives me an intimate case study in humanity. And believe me, he continues to fascinate after nine years of being a couple and seven of marriage. And he's just one person...so imagine what that means for 7 billion...

Wow. That is mind-blowing to contemplate.

That number just reinforces the lesson I learned through my husband: you don't know shit so don't pretend like you do.

In the last week a lot of good things have happened here in the US, but these events have shown people for who they really are - some showed their bigotry on the right. Others on the left. The thing is, neither one thinks of themselves as such. Both think they're moral. Both are wrong.

Everyone is flawed. Everyone fails sometimes. Everyone has biases and prejudice in their hearts in some shape or form. The best of people recognize it and struggle with it. The worst encourage and entrench it. I hope I do the former and that if I start to slip into the latter, someone compassionately calls me on it to make me better (as we all should).

And...here's the thing...that is okay. It is okay to have these things because this is part of what it means to be human. We are imperfect. And, when we strive to be better, that is good. That is all I ask  - all I wish for humanity.

Accept yourselves where you are and strive to be better.

This is what God wants, or if you don't believe in God, this is the cumulative effort of the human project...so further it. Work on it. Work on yourselves. Check one another. Be examples in your efforts to improve and love.

And to start, remember to hold yourself accountable before you start throwing stones. They could just as easily hit you. I promise to do the same.

The Sacred Human: Duggar and Jenner?

There are some things on which everyone should agree. And many pay lip service to such principles, however in their daily lives, in their words, it is a very different matter.

In the past few weeks several issues have dominated American pop cultural media, namely Josh Duggar and Caitlyn Jenner. These two individuals are radically different, and the issues they raise in public consciousness are very different, and yet, they pull at a fundamental issue that flies in the face of many identities and ideologies Americans hold dear. One, is an abuser, a hypocrite, defended by people clinging to a certain idea. His victims blamed for his evil acts, he going without punishment, and them going without assistance.

The other, a woman, once a man, who struggled with the question of who she was at a fundamental level, finally coming out in a very public way, to raise social consciousness of her trans brothers and sisters. Her efforts have opened her to a world of ridicule and abuse personally, even as she has given hope to those trans individuals of lesser means.

Duggar is given value above and beyond his victims. His victims, in fact, are relegated to less than human, even by certain members of the public. Meanwhile Jenner struggles to be viewed for her humanity, and her sacrifice of celebrity-outing forces many to confront their fundamental understanding of gender, thereby placing her in the crosshairs of many.

One is defended by the Christian right. The other is spurned by it, probably as devil-spawn.

What would God want for these two people? What would God want people of faith to do in the face of those with similar circumstances? 

People have inherent value as human beings and should be treated as such.

I believe that God wants all people to be valued at a fundamental level, that all people, by nature of being humans, have intrinsic value and deserve respect, courtesy, and compassion. This means, even a person who commits acts of horror, deserves these things. Does that preclude justice? No. As every human has value, victims deserve justice and a community deserves healing. But every person is a human being, even those who commit crimes.

If a person decides to change their body, to go against their cultural norms, their humanity has not changed. Whether you agree or disagree with their choices is unimportant due to one principle - they are human and deserve to be treated with value.
 
So what does this inherent value require of us? What would God have us do?

Well, if all people have value as humans then we have an obligation, as people of faith, to act on this standard in every aspect of life. This is not just an issue of respectful language or compassionate justice. It extends to all aspects of life, therefore:

1. Education should be accessible, which requires us to accommodate differences that might otherwise be obstacles, such as consolidated educational access or wealth.
2. Public spaces should be safe for all people engaged in their daily tasks - these spaces should be spaces of peaceful and compassionate interaction.
3. In order to maintain humanity and honor our children's value, we must safeguard our environment, seeking to bring about balance between our fundamental needs, and the rights of Earth.
4. Healthy food, living space, water, and access to care must be easily available to all people.
5. To see the value of all people, one must have a degree of empathy. This must be understood at a deep level, and therefore should be a part of every aspect of culture. The first question we must ask is, what are the feelings involved? Only then can we find a positive solution.
6. All people deserve the same rights and privileges as they are equal. There is no difference between people in this respect - no preference on any single identity or belief or appearance or ability etc.
7. If a person is struggling in some way, it is our duty to address the struggle, as a family, community, country, and world. Rather than shame or vilify that person, we should extend our hands in supportive care.
8. We must act from a place of peace when coming to conflict - in our daily lives, as well as the global stage.
9. Justice must be served in a way that facilitates healing of victims and community, as well as intervening and rehabilitating perpetrators. 

If we are to do this, everything changes. How we live in every part of our lives must change. How we address one another, how we spend our time and money, the kinds of legislation we pass all must change. And that is uncomfortable for people. Some will have to give up their present state of excess. Others will be lifted up. And that is threatening and frightening to many.

If you find it threatening, I urge you to think about why you find it threatening. What is so upsetting about everyone having inherent value? What is so upsetting about these potential changes? Only then will you know where you must focus your energies to align with God's desire for our world.

If you find this exciting and uplifting, I urge you to act in accordance with this Divine vision. Challenge those who find it uncomfortable in a way that allows them to confront their perspective and facilitates personal and social growth.

It is only by spreading this vision that we will be able to move forward with our humanity - that we can find a world filled with wholeness, peace, and compassion.

The Hebdo Attack is Not What You Think

With the Paris attacks fresh on everyone's mind, the question of pluralism, freedom, capitalism, and Islam must be discussed.

Some of you may wonder how all these things are connected, but I assure you, they are.

First, know that capitalism, democracy, and secularism are intrinsically linked together through Western philosophy and cultural development. Capitalism thrives in the democratic model. Secularism, particularly in the market, is necessary for capitalism to thrive. Religious tolerance, and pluralism, is expected for capitalism to work. Goods and services must be traded across cultural and religious lines. By putting beliefs and life expectations on the back burner, capitalism thrives.

It is quite difficult to make a profit if you are fighting with the only person who will buy your goods.

Christianity is ideally suited for cosmopolitan structure because it does not require ritual in daily life in the same way as say Judaism or Islam does. Christians do not have to stop to pray five times a day, or worry about which fork to use when eating animal products. Christianity, by its dogma and praxis, is fairly accepting of diversity (even if all of its adherents are not). Part of this is because of the religion itself, and part of this is because it developed in the same cultural contexts as democracy and capitalism did - primarily in Europe and the US.

Islam developed within a different cultural context from Christianity, though they are connected by scripture and history. The revelation of the Quran does not allow for diversity of opinion in the same way as the Bible. Outside of Jews, Christians, and Muslims are infidels (though if we look at ISIS, one wonders who might be considered a protected class of Jew or Christian at all).

Capitalist ideals are not allowed in Islam - cosmopolitanism is not possible for the strict Muslim. How could a good Muslim interact with someone who is destined to Hell? When the religious revelation is so clear, how can a good Muslim earn interest at another's expense? When the religious revelation is so clear, how can a good Muslim allow his daughter to be exposed to dangerous ideas purported by continental philosophy or scientific inquiry? How can satire or difference of opinion be allowed when the religious revelation is so clear?

It does not surprise me that Muslims committed violent acts in defense of their faith. Within a Muslim cultural context, such satire as Hebdo created would have required such defense. God's justice is swift - black and white, according to such thinking.

I understand the appeal of such thinking. Islam, and religion generally, is the last counter to capitalism. It does not surprise me that people are attracted by the value difference in Islam. Capitalism is deeply flawed and yields to horrible situations for many people (think: Industrial Revolution). The Marxist model in practice, communism, was highly problematic, and so it died despite its important critique of capitalism. Without another ideological counter, there is only one place for people to turn. There is only one rebellion remaining.

Messy as it is, I like democracy. I like freedom of ideas and thinking. My soul is after all, a teacher and counselor. That said, we in the West must recognize the problem. We must admit this battle is not just about resources or race. This battle is over something much more dangerous. If we want democracy to remain in the world, we must consider ways in which to counter the problematic context of its development - capitalism. If we can do that, it becomes much more difficult for the extreme ends of the spectrum to gain momentum and adherents. It becomes much more difficult to say democracy is a cancer if the associated hurtful capitalist actions no longer exist.

Don't you just miss the Cold War?

Getting Over Grudges

In the interest of not getting any particular person in trouble, I will not point out specific situations in the following discussion. I will speak in generalities. So humor me - it's less dangerous this way.

I have noticed that people take things personally.

Whopping surprise, isn't it? Wow, Alexis! People take things personally! Who would have thought?!

Yes, I know. It is common knowledge this is a problem for many individuals. However, this is not just an individual problem. Whenever we are part of a community the way we process information affects how we interact in that community and therefore, affects communal health.

You see where I'm going with this?

Let's examine the most problematic example in taking something personally - the grudge. Gah! I hate grudges! They eat people up inside and come out in passive aggressive and extremely hurtful ways. They can destroy a family or a community. They almost always destroy the person holding them, especially if the grudge is large enough. Grudges are poison, and poison spreads.

Often times the person holding the grudge won't even realize they're holding it. They won't realize their actions are being influenced by these feelings of hurt, anger, and resentment. They can't see how their words are being shaped into weapons, tearing people down, rather than tools meant to build people up.

So if you're in a community of faith and see someone else has a grudge, what do you do? Well, the most difficult thing (and the most necessary) is to get the person to admit their feelings. When they are voiced, they can be dealt with. Bringing things to the light of day allows for healing and cleansing. If you can't help this person deal with their feelings, find someone who can. You are likely not the only person to have observed their hurtful behavior.

Once the person has dealt with their grudge, then the next step is to help them realize actions are not personal. Even if they are, our reactions do not have to let them be personal. It is our choice how we react to a situation.  Choose wisely.

Aside: Legislating Religion, Culture and Pluralism

After reading some of the comments on my YouTube station, I felt like I needed to respond to the elephants in the room (actually, it may have been a herd on the verge of stampeding). It is dangerous to allow fear and bigotry into legislation. It has lasting implications and frequently aftershocks continue and reverberate in ways that are unexpected and unpredictable. It is also dangerous to put up walls where we should be extending hands in friendship and seeking avenues of common ground.

Beyond all this, don't you EVER legislate my God. Separation of church and state is about freedom from someone else's god as much as it is about freedom to worship your own.

Tolerance, plurality, or co-existance? - an Aside

I saw this video on pomomusings. It caused me to remember many of the lessons I learned while I was in India which I think are relevant to our discussions here. Particularly, I think of how we all seek something more than "this" and how difficult it is for so many of us to find "it". Beyond that, when we do, frequently we tend to be hurtful to those who have a different way of accessing the divine. This is a problem in our globalizing world where so many cultures and religions are interacting at an increasing rate.... the question becomes, how do we deal with this?

Now I would not say that I am tolerant of others views. In fact I am actually quite hard and fast about where I come down. This doesn't mean I won't give you air time. If I were merely tolerant I might simply condescend to allow you to believe whatever it is and smirk behind your back saying my way was the high way. By being forthright and admitting inconsistencies and conflicts, it's much easier to respect the other.

This should not only be practiced in India in political elections, or even on an interfaith level, but rather needs to be practiced on an intrafaith level. That is, different denominations of Christianity need to come into conversation with one another and really talk. May the most pragmatic begin!!

Indian Elections : A Mammoth Democratic Exercise from Shashwat Gupta on Vimeo.