Silence is Poison: I'm Talking Now

This has taken a lot of thought - a long time and much consideration. There are so many issues in our country and our world, I struggled to decide what to write - what focus was most needed here.

So here it is... the hard bitter truth.

It is easy for me to sit here, in the comfort of my parents' house, and make pronouncements about the state of the world. For the time being, I have food, a bed, a roof, and a loving family. I have education. I live everyday with consolidated power and resources that others fantasize about. I live in a place that is the perfect temperature most of the year. The ocean is minutes away. Flowers bloom all year. The sun shines.

It would be easy to sit here and ignore everything. It would be easy to get roped into ideas about prosperity being a heavenly mandate. It would be easy to forget about the other difficult parts of my life, to let them fade into memory, and ignore their lessons. It would be easy to forget my beautiful students from Oakland, or the farm workers down the road, or the women and children in shelters downtown. It would be easy.

I could ignore murders, rapes, molestations, homelessness, and unemployment. I could ignore victim blaming and the consolidation of power and resources by the wealthy. I could ignore rich white Christians getting hot and bothered about marriage equality, while people are dying in the streets and poor children go without food or shelter.

I could ignore these things, and eat a three course meal every night on china. I could drink expensive mixed drinks and wear designer clothing and party like everything was fun and fancy-free. I could.

And if I did, what would I be? Not Christian. That is for sure. No, I would be the embodiment of sin. I would be evil.

It is our responsibility, no matter how privileged we are, to stand with our sisters and brothers. It is our responsibility to expand access to education and health care. It is our responsibility to expand the possibility of love and friendship. It is our responsibility to serve one another and give voice to the voiceless. It is our responsibility to shed light on the places of shadow in our society.

Do not be fooled. God does not want us to stand with the law when the law protects privilege. God does not want us to stand with power when that power is one of oppression.

And this is uncomfortable. God requires us to get uncomfortable. That means, accepting the fact that yes - men are the most dangerous threat to women.  That means accepting the fact that yes - white people have systematically oppressed minorities for centuries. That means accepting the fact that yes -  our entire American society, law, culture, and businesses, are structured to funnel more power and resources to the rich.

When we accept these things as true, the whole game changes. The conversation shifts. And then the question becomes, what are you going to do about it?
There are three options:

1. Keep quiet. Do nothing, which means you are for the current situation.
2. Actively support the current situation (i.e. punish people for being poor, kill black men and women, punish women for being women, punish gay people for being gay...).
3. Or you can protest. You can write. You can fight. You can share alternative news narratives. You can educate yourself on how to be an ally to those with less of a voice, those with less privilege, and fewer rights.

I denied this call for many years. I denied it, and with it, a part of myself. I stayed silent, and it was an evil thing. I made myself sick. I was the worst kind of sinner, and for that, I beg your forgiveness.

It is for all these reasons that I wrote my story in THRIVE. It is a small story, in a large network of stories. There are so many people who have endured worse. There are so many people who were never given the chance to speak. It is for them I reveal myself. It is for them, I do the thing I was called to do - to be vulnerable. I might not be able to protest in Baltimore, or volunteer at Planned Parenthood, or All Out, or aggressively lobby for income-based penalties.

But I can do this.

#silenceispoison
#imtalkingnow
#THRIVE 

Church Attendance: You Need A Date Night

I'm going to be honest here. I totally judge people - and I judge people almost as harshly as I judge myself. It's a fault. I admit it. It's part of my personality (Myers-Briggs got it right with me, that's for sure!).

And what's one of the things I judge people on? It's one of those things that you might think marks me as some kind of strange 21st century-1950s hybrid. Yes. Church attendance.

Everyone who knows anything about relationships knows they take work. Relationships are not easy. They aren't something you can just expect to stay on cloud nine all the time. They require effort. They require commitment.

It's been said that Jesus is like a groom and the Church his bride.

Are you picking up what I'm putting down here?

COMMITMENT.

Faith takes commitment. It is a daily thing. It requires effort. It requires active participation. When your girlfriend, lover, spouse, partner comes home that day, you don't ignore them. You talk to them. You do chores around the house. You help pay bills. You have a regular date night.

Think of attending church, or temple, or mosque as your weekly date night. Because that's what it is. It's part of your commitment. It's your weekly rejuvenating shot to your spiritual relationship.

What happens when you miss a date night? What happens when you keep missing date nights? You stop connecting with your partner. Your relationship starts to get messy. Maybe you lose a little spark. It fosters discord and dissonance in your relationship. It contributes to creating a negative relationship environment. Maybe it contributes to relationship death.

The same thing happens when you stop going to church or temple. Your connection to God gets a little fuzzy. Your spiritual focus gets lost. An emptiness starts to grow in your heart. A darkness takes root in your spirit. It won't be big at first. You may not even be aware of it, at least at first.

But let me tell you, when you show up to worship that first Sunday after a break, you're going to feel what you were missing. You're going to realize that you were undervaluing your relationship with God and that you lost focus. You're going to realize that Divine relationship is one of the most important things in your life and you need that time. You need to make the time. You need to recommit.

You don't make excuses to ignore your spouse, so stop making excuses not to go to Church.

Why Grow?

The pastor of our beloved East Bay church had a good sermon this past week that raised a very important issue - motivation, specifically motivation surrounding growth.

What is the point in trying to grow a church? I mean, if it doesn't have anything worth while, then why try to grow it?

I've gotten pretty Zen as I've gotten older and so the idea of hanging on to something when it has lost relevance doesn't appeal. We have to let it go.

Now, if a church has something to offer, and members are excited about these offerings and want to share them with other people, that's a whole other issue. In that case, OF COURSE INVITE PEOPLE TO CHURCH!

Clarifying our motivation behind the desire for new members is important, just as it is with any endeavor. It shows in our actions. When we try to get members because we want to get more money into the church, or because we're worried our church will die without them, we will NOT increase membership. We must have good intentions - pure motivation. We have to want new members because we genuinely believe joining our church will be enriching and affirming. People pick up on that sort of thing.

So the question remains, why should our church grow?

"Religion is for the Strong" or "Jesus the Bad-ass"

You're probably wondering how I could possibly have this title when I'm a Christian.

I'm not saying that only "strong" people can be people of faith - those perfect people who seem to have everything together and do everything right (i.e. 2.5 kids, dog, white picket fence, personal trainer and a 3 course meal every night). I'm not refuting Jesus' message of "blessed are the meek" or "blessed are the poor." I'm saying you really can't be religious without accepting the fact that religion will challenge you. Challenge is hard. Challenge requires determination and persistence.

This challenge comes in the form of asking tough questions (such as really engaging Jesus' messages and questioning how they can be applied in our lives) and requiring counter-culture actions (such as protesting unjust legislation or helping to build sustainable communities for the poor).

You can't be weak-minded and be a person of faith - not if you're truly a person of faith.

I don't mean that a person who has struggled in life and has been beaten down wouldn't be able to be a person of faith. In fact, that person, tempered and honed by experience is probably more likely to be strong in faith than not. Having your faith regularly tested is kind of like leveling up in a video game - every fight becomes an easy win after a while.

Strength comes in many different forms, but the kind that is required for faith and commitment to a community like a church requires some serious thought and engagement with scripture.

I've been saying these kinds of things for years, but it's nice to read some others' words echoing my own feelings on the subject. It seems a lot of people who are currently atheist became atheist because the Church made a mistake. They dumbed-down the message of the gospel. They pandered. They sold-out. However you want to put it, they stopped pushing the strong counter-culture message of Jesus and started putting up some kind of "Buddy Christ" idea for mass consumption, thinking this would be more attractive.

But Buddy Christ is a joke. No one respects this guy.

My Jesus is the Jesus who called authorities on the carpet with quick thinking. My Jesus is the Jesus who made a whip and chased the money lenders out of the temple and flipped their tables. My Jesus is the one who spent time with the people who were the least valued by society and showed them compassion and love. My Jesus is the Jesus who said rich people can't go to heaven because they're too attached to their things.

My Jesus is a bad-ass. He might piss you off. He might humiliate you in front of your peers. He might cry openly in front of hundreds of people. But whatever he does, he does it completely.

That's a guy I can get behind - a guy people respect.

This is the message, the focus the Church needs to return to. And it pisses people off. It makes people uncomfortable. But here's the thing - it's the only way for the Church to be. This is how you build a community - not by making things easy, but by expecting more from people.

Think about your favorite teacher in school. It wasn't the guy who put movies on all the time and then gave you worksheets to fill out. It was the person who demanded more from you - who asked you tough questions and forced you to do things you never would have otherwise. It was the teacher who called you to his or her desk after class and talked to you - asking you point blank why you weren't doing your best. And honestly this was the class you wanted to come to every day - not the worksheet/movie class.

The Church needs to be like our favorite teachers. We need to embrace Jesus the Bad-ass and share him with everyone around us. We need to ask tough questions and call people on the carpet when they're not doing their best. We need to try things we've never tried before...and then, only then, will we truly reflect the Kingdom of God.

The Church Challenge

So, here's the deal. I am seriously missing faith-based interaction. It gets lonely not having a Church family to hang out with and grow with. I am looking for a church in Northern Phoenix, Arizona. I am obviously progressive (and by all accounts "emerging").

This is what I am looking for:

1. A contemporary worship style - this does not mean only empty praise songs, but also old stand-bys juiced up in a variety of styles, as well as secular songs that speak to the message for that service.
   
2. Variety in service (not always modifying a single template, i.e. insert sermon here, song here and viola!, but having genuinely different worship services from one time to the next).
3. A group of people who are open and willing to question and to struggle despite diversity and because of it - this means that they are actually willing to have everyone from the Church Lady (despite her not having us) to the ex meth-addict metal vocalist.
4. Public action - I know it's hard to make time for this, especially when you're young and a lot of people are struggling, BUT a little protest does a body good. So does some recycling or volunteering.
5. Fun - I like to play. I like beer and wine. I like to go clubbing. I like to play games and ride on the back of my husband's Ninja 650R. It would be good to be a part of a church where it's okay to do all those things, in fact, let's do them TOGETHER.

I think you get the gist. I know it will be difficult to find exactly this, but that doesn't mean I can't shoot for the moon and end up among the stars! This will be an on-going search.

I will tell you now, if I can't find one, I will make one. I know things start small, and I'm totally open to meeting in a pub if necessary. Why not talk about God over billiards? Seems as reasonable as anything else.

The point is, if you know of a community like this, in Phoenix or in your neck of the woods, give a little shout out... because we're in this together (especially let me know if there is someone in North Phoenix because I would rather pool passion than strike out on my own).