You Deserve A Break

It's hard for me to read the news. I used to shun it because I found it so depressing that I couldn't stand existing afterwards. And then I got angry instead of sad, and it made it easier to keep on top of current events.

But with this day in age, it is easy to see everything and that gets a bit burdensome. I'm finding my heart heavy all the time - it is exhausting. I find myself thinking:

Shut up!
Oh my GOD! Stop worrying about [insert problem here]!
They would be better off dead/sick/injured anyway!
This is the way nature works!
It's their own damn fault!
So what?
Get over it!

On the other side of things, I find myself thinking:

How can you be so stupid?
How can you not understand [insert problem here]?
How can you not feel?
How can you not get angry/upset/frustrated?
How can you not do something?
Why is it so hard to see this is bullshit?
Why is it so hard to see this is going on?
Why is it so hard to see these daily things we're doing are causing people to die?!

I think everyone feels/thinks at least some of these things sometimes. And this is the price we pay for conquering the planet, wielding such technology that we do.

Compassion burnout.

So, when you get to this point, take a break. God rested. You should rest. Really.

Take a break already!

And during your break, do all those things that feel good. Eat good food. Laugh with friends. Have sex. Lounge in your underwear. Dance in your living room to your favorite playlist. Take a hike. Go for a swim. Lay on a field and look up at the sky. Play a game. Read your favorite book. Whatever you do, do it fully, completely, relishing joyfully in living.

Only when you are fully rested, soul and all, should you come back to the problems of the world. There are others who were working on things while you were gone. When you come back, others will take a break, grateful in knowing that someone else is working on those problems.

Remember: It's all good. It's all okay. We've got this. You don't need to save something every second of every day, and anyway, you'd die trying. That wouldn't help anything. God does NOT want that. So, pace yourself. Do what you can, and don't worry about the rest. Someone else is working on it. In the mean time, have some chocolate cake. You deserve it.

Morality, Calling, and Signposts

Bleak? Or a change in the weather?

I am struggling to see the good in the world today. Last night I read another article about another group of politicians intending to hurt people by taking away basic necessities and it kept me awake. It made me physically sick. It made me so angry that someone who claimed to be for family, for God, would do something, even if it is only political strategy, at the expense of people's lives.

There is no excuse.

No major world religion I have read about wants this. And I have read a LOT about gods. I have read a LOT about religion. A LOT. It is one of the things that comes up in my life over and over.

And I love people. I mean, I hate them, but I love them. Sort of like Jonah. Sometimes I don't want to save people from themselves...some of them may not deserve it...but then again, even the worst can repent.

And they should have a chance. But shouldn't there be consequences for hurting thousands of people? Isn't that - more than anything - immoral?

But I cannot focus on this. I cannot keep turning towards this, except as motivation to spur me forward - to create positive change around me. And I am motivated. Everything I read stokes my fire. Every conversation I have pushes me in the same direction.

This past week I met a person who gave me a huge jolt of positive energy. Talking with her affirmed what I am doing. I realized that God wasn't content with closing all the other options, but decided to send me a few more signposts. I received positive responses to my speaking inquiries. I received positive responses to my story from more than one quarter - from friends, strangers, and professional acquaintances.

If there was any doubt, it is gone. Whatever happens from here on out, I am not worried. Whatever happens, at least I know I'm fulfilling my calling. And that is edifying, even as it requires fire.

Silence is Poison: I'm Talking Now

This has taken a lot of thought - a long time and much consideration. There are so many issues in our country and our world, I struggled to decide what to write - what focus was most needed here.

So here it is... the hard bitter truth.

It is easy for me to sit here, in the comfort of my parents' house, and make pronouncements about the state of the world. For the time being, I have food, a bed, a roof, and a loving family. I have education. I live everyday with consolidated power and resources that others fantasize about. I live in a place that is the perfect temperature most of the year. The ocean is minutes away. Flowers bloom all year. The sun shines.

It would be easy to sit here and ignore everything. It would be easy to get roped into ideas about prosperity being a heavenly mandate. It would be easy to forget about the other difficult parts of my life, to let them fade into memory, and ignore their lessons. It would be easy to forget my beautiful students from Oakland, or the farm workers down the road, or the women and children in shelters downtown. It would be easy.

I could ignore murders, rapes, molestations, homelessness, and unemployment. I could ignore victim blaming and the consolidation of power and resources by the wealthy. I could ignore rich white Christians getting hot and bothered about marriage equality, while people are dying in the streets and poor children go without food or shelter.

I could ignore these things, and eat a three course meal every night on china. I could drink expensive mixed drinks and wear designer clothing and party like everything was fun and fancy-free. I could.

And if I did, what would I be? Not Christian. That is for sure. No, I would be the embodiment of sin. I would be evil.

It is our responsibility, no matter how privileged we are, to stand with our sisters and brothers. It is our responsibility to expand access to education and health care. It is our responsibility to expand the possibility of love and friendship. It is our responsibility to serve one another and give voice to the voiceless. It is our responsibility to shed light on the places of shadow in our society.

Do not be fooled. God does not want us to stand with the law when the law protects privilege. God does not want us to stand with power when that power is one of oppression.

And this is uncomfortable. God requires us to get uncomfortable. That means, accepting the fact that yes - men are the most dangerous threat to women.  That means accepting the fact that yes - white people have systematically oppressed minorities for centuries. That means accepting the fact that yes -  our entire American society, law, culture, and businesses, are structured to funnel more power and resources to the rich.

When we accept these things as true, the whole game changes. The conversation shifts. And then the question becomes, what are you going to do about it?
There are three options:

1. Keep quiet. Do nothing, which means you are for the current situation.
2. Actively support the current situation (i.e. punish people for being poor, kill black men and women, punish women for being women, punish gay people for being gay...).
3. Or you can protest. You can write. You can fight. You can share alternative news narratives. You can educate yourself on how to be an ally to those with less of a voice, those with less privilege, and fewer rights.

I denied this call for many years. I denied it, and with it, a part of myself. I stayed silent, and it was an evil thing. I made myself sick. I was the worst kind of sinner, and for that, I beg your forgiveness.

It is for all these reasons that I wrote my story in THRIVE. It is a small story, in a large network of stories. There are so many people who have endured worse. There are so many people who were never given the chance to speak. It is for them I reveal myself. It is for them, I do the thing I was called to do - to be vulnerable. I might not be able to protest in Baltimore, or volunteer at Planned Parenthood, or All Out, or aggressively lobby for income-based penalties.

But I can do this.

#silenceispoison
#imtalkingnow
#THRIVE 

All God's Children

God doesn't make imperfect babies. That's the gist.

I love babies. I have one of my own. He's sleeping next to me and he is, by and large, perfect. Really. Everyone says so - I'm not joking. I could talk about him all day, but that's not the point. The point is that my baby isn't the only kind out there.

Some babies are born with six fingers. Some are born with an extra chromosome. Some are born missing a chromosome. Some are born without feet. Some are born with pale skin. Some are born with curly hair. Some are born with no hair. Some are born with double joints.

Actually, the possibilities are endless. Even the really horrible ones - like congenital heart defects or spina bifida or a thousand other really awful nail-biting complications....

You know, some babies even have ambiguous genitals.

The fault here isn't with God. A lot of religious people have said it before and I'll say it again - God's creation is beautiful. We're a part of that creation. Everyone. No matter where the person is on whatever spectrum you can name - that person is a part of God's creation.

Part of that creation is experience and human engagement. I think that's part of why we're here on Earth - so that we can be a part of this wonderful beautiful thing. That means sometimes humans must act. God requires us to act. So if that means that some baby was born to feel more female than male and needs to act to engage with creation... then do it. Do it up. Do it beautifully in concert with God. That's God's will.

I can talk about how the Southern Baptists have completely missed the point and are basically denying the existence of the gray inbetween area - that confusing beautiful mess of God's creation. I could talk about how they're trying to redefine standard English word usage and that's the most bullshit ridiculous impossible thing. I can talk about how they're pretending to love when what they're really doing is contributing to self-hatred, depression, and psychological scars that traumatize the marginalized groups of our society. But I won't. I don't think there's any question about all those things and plenty of other people will discuss them.

The only thing I want to make sure people get is the fact that some Baptists think something different. In fact a whole lot of CHRISTIANS think and believe something completely different: God's messy technicolor creation requires human engagement and when that happens, it is rendered even more beautiful. The world is a richer more wonderful place because of difference, and I for one, welcome it.

Human Action is God Action

There comes a time when everyone has to make a choice. You can sit on your butt and do nothing, or you can act.

Some people say that humans don't need to act - that trusting God is enough. I'm thinking of Christian Scientists or other groups (several Pentecostal churches come to mind). Certainly there are many groups like this. However, they are missing something major when they do not act:

God works through people.

People are vessels for God's miracles. People are routes for God's will on Earth. We can experience God's mercy, grace, compassion, and unconditional love through the acts of others.

If we think about life this way, it becomes clear that bumper sticker so popular a few years ago ("practice random acts of kindness") was wrong. Acts are not random, especially ones of kindness and grace. They are the purposeful and necessary work of God. There's nothing random about it, though it may appear so to us.

It would seem that we should listen to the stirrings of our heart when it yearns to act for the good of others. These are the movements, the yearnings, of the Spirit. Inaction, waiting for something to happen, does nothing to fulfill God's will. In fact, it prevents it. So when we feel the urge to act, as instruments of God it is essential that we do. We cannot afford to stand still.